My bucket list....

So I have been thinking about this for years, even before the movie. But thinking about it is all I have done and I have wasted valuable time that I could be checking things off my list.

The big questions in my mind about it are do I put a date on it like my 40th or 50th bday or do I leave it open ended? What happens if I don't complete something or can't or what? What types of things do I put on it?

I know pretty much what I want to put on it. The typicals like travel, things to eat, sights to see, people to meet/see. I don't think I want to do much of the daredevil types of things but I am not ruling that out.

I think what I could say is that I want to get X stuff done by 40 (only 3 1/2 yrs) and then some other things by 50, etc.

But then what about the World we are living in, how is it going to change over the next 5, 10, 20 years? So should I leave some flexibility in it? Of course....

Do you have a bucket list?

In a blink of an eye....

If you have read my blog for a while, you know I have three children. K is 14 and a 9th grader and my only girl. H is 12 (nearly 13) a 7th grader..... and L is my surprise blessing, is age 6 and in 1st grade.

People tell you to enjoy them while they are young and I never understood that or the idea that "Time Flies" or "They grow up too fast." until I had kids. When I had my children, my life seemed to have sped up. Each year it goes faster. Especially with L. He is so much younger than the others that all his life he has done things faster than them. Rolled over, sat up, crawled, walked.... ran! All of it faster to try to keep up with his sister and brother.

I have tried to keep him little in other ways. I have spoiled him and not stuck to the same way of doing things as I did with K and H. I know I shouldn't and yet I keep doing it. I was an older mom and with the other two being 8 and 6 when he was born, I knew all too well how fast time flies. I felt like I enjoyed them but I realized I made them grow up too fast.... but I can't hold any of them back and I realize that....

However, yesterday showed me just how grown up he is getting and I really realized I can't stop it.

He was asked by a neighbor/friend to go help them pick out a Christmas tree and then go to lunch. My heart was screaming, "NO! He is not old enough for that." But my brain couldn't come up with one good reason why he couldn't. I know the mom and he and the boy are friends. Sooo I said yes. Then I gasped. What had I just said?? My baby could go with someone else! OMG! What was I doing? But I said yes.

As they left, I let out a sigh and my older two were like, "Wow he is growing up."

And so he is..... so they all are....

Patience is my middle name

Most people think it is Jean but no, it is patience. I often joke that if I were a doctor I would be rich (patients - patience)..... Cheesy I know.

Anyway, I waited 8 years to get a divorce. I knew for 8 years it was over.... and yet I was patient and waited until the time was right.

I waited for far too long to get my new car. I was patiently waiting again, for the right time.

I waited months and 5 dates for a first kiss. I waited for several more months after that to admit to myself I was in love and then more than a year it took me to admit it to him. Again, the time had to be right....

I waited for the right time to get a dog. To go back to school. To get the right job. To buy a Wii.

I wait. I wait. I wait.

I do this with everything. I say I want to take risks but do I? No. I wait and hope and wish and talk and dream about things but I don't make them happen. I sometimes wish I had a little cricket to help me make decisions.

At any rate, I am patiently waiting for what is to come next thing. What is it? I don't know but I can be patient. I can wait.

After all, it is my name.....