How timely....

So there are two radio stations that I like to listen to their morning shows. Both are located on the side of my blog under Websites I visit. The first is the Buzz and the Rod Ryan show! Love this show. He is a tell it like it is kind of guy. The other is on Mix 96.5 and is called the Sam Malone Morning Show. Sam is again a tell it like it is kind of guy. But they are very much different in that Rod is more edgy and Sam is more the guy next door.

So on Rod Ryan's show they were talking about things women do on first dates that don't get them a call back..... It was interesting and I don't believe I have ever done those on a first date. Like dominate the conversation, talk about past boyfriends/spouse (a mention maybe okay but not a whole thing about it), don't act too clingy/into him right then, don't get into "hot" topic or debate...... A caller mentioned something she likes to talk about (She likes sports, porn and video games). Rod said, "Don't try to be the cool chic. The dude will figure it out on his own if you are cool or not. Don't try to push it by making up scenarios to make yourself look cool."

This reminded me that I have been called a cool chic recently. However, yesterday I feel like I blew it. All my coolness was gone with one single email, or at least that is how I feel today. I may be overacting which is so not like me..... (evil laugh).... Okay I overact a little bit! So sue me!

Anyway, on Sam's show they were talking about emails you regret sending.... (See how these all go together!)..... Umm, hell yeah I regret sending emails. Now don't get me wrong I do try to live by the whole "No regret" thing. But I can admit that I make mistakes. I'm not perfect, never claimed to be and except in jest would never say I was perfect. So when mistakes are made all I can do is say "Damn that sucks." and just file it under "What the hell was I thinking" crossed referenced to "Lessons Learned."

What's the point of this? Yesterday for whatever reason I had a panic or anxiety attack. This scared me a bit because I don't know why it happened. I felt fine, a bit overwhelmed by work but I love it. I love the adrenaline of it...... but I just suddenly went into an attack. Prior to July 2005 I used to get them pretty darn regularly but once I took control of my life and made a decision to get a divorce.... I felt good, happy and the attacks were almost non-existent....

I reached out to many people yesterday just to take my mind off of the attack. My life is pretty darn good and so I don't need to vent or have someone solve something. I just needed a distraction and I got it so no big deal at all.... But, one of those I reached out to has a full plate (this is a bit of an underestimate but I can't think of a better way to say that) and I understand that. I truly do. I don't want this person to feel bad for anything. I have a million (okay not a million but a lot) of people I reach out to in times of need. Not everyone can reach back and that's cool that is why I surround myself with so many supportive people because someone is always there. (I talked for close to an hour with a friend in Boston and then IMed with one of my best ever friends dating back to high school. He can see right through me.)

So to all my friends, just thanks for being my friend. It is all give and take. Sometimes there is more taking, sometimes more giving.... It is the balance of the two over time that counts. I get enough to make me happy and I have no intentions of changing any of my friends. :)

Enjoy the day!