September 9

September 9 is always a special day for me. I talked about it here last year too. It was a point in my life that changed the rest of it.

To back up, in May 1992, I was out of high school and had just spent the last year in community college and working full-time at Burger King. I wanted to move out on my own but couldn't afford it, wanted to get out of my life so to speak. I felt like I was at a cross roads. I didn't feel like I could go forward, I definitely couldn't go back. I needed to do something big, life changing and then the recruiter called. I think they have ESP or something.

So I signed on up and my date was picked..... I don't remember my original date because that summer my dad's only sister had a liver transplant and I asked to push my date back so that I could be with my family a little bit longer.

Fine. September 9, 1992 it was.

It was a life changing decision. It was a life changing experience.

And, if you know me, making decisions is not easy for me and especially not something this huge!

I'm glad I did it. Sometimes wish I wouldn't have gotten out. It was a good decision at the time for me and my kids. My life wouldn't be what it is now, had I stayed in. Rather than play the "What if" game, I just enjoy what I have.

Sometimes being a grown-up SUCKS

Plain and simple.

Short story: I do not have the dogs anymore.

Long story: I knew that I couldn't keep them. I just do not have the energy, the time or the money it would take to care for them. I had to make (or pick) a decision (whatever!). It was hard. I got the pups loaded up in the car. They were so good on the way there. No whining, no barking, no jumping around. I'm sure they were scared to be in the car but the trusted me. (whah!). I got to the SPCA. Got them out, walked in.... All three of us had racing hearts. Mine was beating so hard, I started to have ringing in my ears. I wanted to run out with them but too late I was committed. The lady took the first one..... I wanted to shout, "noooo he is mine!" but I let her. She came back for the second..... and then it was over. Thank Gawd I still had my sunglasses on. I was crying a little bit.

When it is a better time in my life, I will get a dog. I will be ready for that commitment. I know it isn't easy to care for a dog.... It is a mostly give relationship. Yes there is the companionship but come on, it can't do the dishes, mow the lawn or paint my toe nails..... so really, its me caring completely for it.

And, as I mentioned here..... I have had to give up a lot of pets. I just thought the next time I had a dog(s), I wouldn't have to give them up. These are not ones that I decided to get, they got me. But still....

The decision was to listen to my heart (keep them) or my head (give them up)....So if I made a decision or I just picked the smarter of the two, it doesn't matter because the point is I had to do the grown-up thing and that just plain sucks!