I'm back, YO!

I had a great weekend. At one point, I actually said, "I have nothing in my head." and that meant exactly that.... I often have a million things running through it: to-do lists, bills to pay, songs, kid voices and a hundred other things. So to walk away from it for just.... a few days, was AWESOME!

Not much to tell, we kinda took a Vegas type of vow of "What happens in.... stays in....." ya know? Of course not too much happened that we can't talk about but it is fun to think that we had really big secrets like that.

I did learn a lot about myself during the trip. I plan to write about those things soon, I hope.

And ya know friendship are so interesting to me. M and I haven't seen each other since April/May 2000 (time frame) and it was almost like we have never been apart.

Anyway, thanks to all the new readers and a special thanks to all those that have been with me for a while. I really appreciate you sticking with me through the feast and famine of my blog.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

Yeah that pretty much sums it up! If it isn't one thing it is another. Usually it is my allergies in some form and I am almost 100% sure that I will have to find an allergist again. I haven't had to get shots for a long time. I just recently got an inhaler which I haven't had for at least 6 yrs, probably more.

I still battle fatigue and pains in my neck, back and shoulders. My doctor has said that is stress and yeah it is. I can tell because there are times when I have nothing to think about and I am pain free! It is soo nice.

And it is like a vicious circle because here is the thing... I know part of it is my weight but I don't feel good so I don't work out or eat right. I am tired all the time so I don't work out or eat right and because I don't do either I feel tired and feel crappy. Isn't that nice?

I mean I get it. I do but it is sooo hard to break that cycle.

However, I would like to report that I finally had a productive weekend. I finally felt good! All weekend. For two whole days! I got so much done!

And then today I am sore! and tired! and back to .... well my normal anyway. But also a bit different, why? because I feel good about all I got done that I overcame some of my "issues" and was able to do the things I have needed to for so long.

I am also doing Weight Watchers at work, taking the stairs to the 4th floor at work (and back down) and trying to take control of my life and health again.

A scared child and one that sleep walks = Long nights!

Soooo L has always been scared to sleep in his room. At first I gave in a lot because one he was cute (just 3 yrs old) and two I wasn't sharing my bed with anyone else. Okay so really I guess it started long before that even but I really gave in when his dad and I separated in 2005.

Anyway so it has been an uphill battle to get him to sleep in his bed for the past 1-2 yrs.

Well tonight was one of those battle nights. And as I listed for the billionth time that our house is safe (doors and windows locked, big brother in the room, big scary doggie... etc).... I took him by the hand and started to walk him to his room.

When I turned the corner and was eye to eye with a person. "HOLY CRAP!!!"

It was just his very sleepy, disoriented brother who has a very bad sleep walking habit and has since he was old enough to walk. Scared the crap out of me! I sent him back to bed.

And here I was trying to tell the little one how safe our house is only to squeal like I saw a mouse or something.

Crazy stuff.

I got his sister to sleep on one couch and him to sleep on another. No, no not some torture for her. She has actually said she prefers to sleep there. It is I who forces her to sleep in bed.

So everyone is finally tucked in. I just hope they all stay put!

Mommy needs a time-out!

I am such an introvert that when things in my world are in chaos, I get depressed and can't seem to recharge. Right now my house is just a mess, making my whole life feel like chaos.... but the good news is we are about a week from it being finished! (Hurray!!! and pics soon)

I sooo CAN.NOT.WAIT!!!


I hate not having a place that I can go "hide"... My boys are very loud people. Most boys I have been around are loud and noisy and busy and it wears me out! But right now I can't get away from them for a "time-out" or anything. So I am just stuck in the loud, noise and business. Oh and don't get me wrong, I love the noise and enjoy it being here because if it was gone, I would so not be myself but I really need that downtime to recharge and refresh myself.

I feel like I am on the edge of just collapsing or crying or both. I'm exhausted all the time, edgy and I feel like I can't relax.

But very soon, very, very, VERY soon! I will be able to hide a little. I will be able to lock my door, climb in bed and just relax.

You have probably noticed I have been quieter, not commenting much on your blog (or yours or yours or yours).... I am truly sorry. I just do not have words right now. It has taken me days to just get this short little post put together.

Anyway, soon I hope to be back to normal and back to writing and commenting.

Exhaustion!

Okay so it is our busy time at work so I am coming home just flat out tired each day. Then it is my second (or really first job).... being mom!


Sooo I haven't had the energy to even think of anything to blog about nor go to many of my favorites to comment... but I am trying to get there.


I will just do a quick 5 things for you!


1. Remodel update: We finally passed the inspection! and they did the insulation today! Drywall on Monday and the contractor is going to drop off samples for me to pick tiles and my counter tops. I also need to pick the paint color! We are close!


2. H had a cyst removed today. Yikes! that was gross. He is doing okay.


3. K is going to the Homecoming Dance tonight. When did she get so grown?


4. L has a cut on his finger that got infected. Gross. I didn't even know he had a cut on his finger. I normally clean them, put anti-bacterial stuff on and bandage. Nope, he shows me once it is all gross and infected.

5. It is like what 6 wks since Ike came through and we still don't have a fence. Many, many, many people do not. Again, still lucky because some people don't have a home anymore or their house is just a wreck.... but given the limited amount of damage we had, I thought the fence would be back up by now. I threatened the dog today "If you get out one more time, I am not coming after you." Okay, don't tell him but I will....today we were lucky because there were other dogs out in their own yard so he got really distracted with smelling butts. I then took him the long way home. He is now sleeping in his kennel.

Remodel hell

Okay not really hell but I didn't know what to call this post....

We have been remodeling the house since Mid-July.... and yes when I was truly in hell, I was having men in and out of my house. Joy and fun, joy and fun!

Well we are getting there but still a few weeks away from completion.

I am going CRAZY! I want my house back. I want my room back! I mean it is worth it, or hmm, it will be worth it. I will have a lot more privacy.

But OMG!

Next month I have to go to California for work, the ex is coming to stay in my house to watch the kids. (Yes he is the father but I feel like he is a babysitter.... Bad? Probably!) Anyway, I want my house done and back in order before that! How can I have my ex-husband who thought I was a bad wife and mother, and least we forget horrible at cleaning, in my house when it has been a wreck for several months.

It is gross. It is so gross. It is cluttered. It is a flat out mess!

I asked the contractor would it be done by November and he seems confident it will be. I wish I felt as confident....

Send good thoughts my way!

Smooth moves and elevators

I am so cool but you knew that, right? Never mind, don't answer that.

Today I got to work all happy and kinda all in my head about what I had to do for the day. Got in the elevator and realized I hadn't turned my phone volume. I like to do that before I get to the office.

Soooo I am in the elevator, missing with my phone, then the doors open for my floor.... so I looked up (just straight in front of me).... I was looking at a guy's waist and in my shock, I looked up like a little kid looking up at a giant and was very obviously surprised by the VERY TALL MAN! He kinda nodded/smiled at me, like "Yeah thanks I get that a lot."

Very awesome.

I resisted the urge to look back to see if he could actually fit on the elevator!

You just can't take me anywhere. :)

Staying insanely sane

Something to keep you insanely sane. You may have read this somewhere like your inbox forwarded by your friend that ONLY emails you with forward this or you will cause the end of the World emails. I got this off of IHeartSingleParents.com (Single parent? Come join us!)

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks . Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Marijuana"

6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go" (I will just add that I worked in fast food for over 2 yrs, and people do this but I think they forget they are IN THEIR CARS.... seriously)

9. Move your desk in to the elevator and when the doors open to let someone on, ask if they have an appointment.

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

11. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"

12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

13. Take your TV outside.

14. Cut out photos and paste them on Popsicle sticks and give a puppet show to the person on the other side of your cube wall.

15. When someone says, "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.