Sunday, July 19, 2009

Something missing from my life....???

I have always felt like something has always been missing from my life. Some people might argue that I am not missing something.... but I have always felt like this one person should be. I have never met this person and never will..... Who is it? A sister.... my sister.

I have felt this way since I can remember. I thought my baby brother would be a sister but alas.... she was a boy which made two little brothers for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers and I really wouldn't trade them! However, there is a very different relationship between a brother and sister than the one between sisters.

There have been times through my life that a sister would have really come in handy. And really while some people might not have a great relationship with their sister, and there is no guarantee that we would (if she existed), I think the way me and my brothers were raised, we would have been close.

I am pretty close with my youngest brother. So in a way, I have that close sibling but again, I just think a sister relationship, a female relationship with a sibling would be so different. We could talk differently than my brother and I do. We could do things like shopping, discuss children/babies, being pregnant, things like that. While my bro and I have discussed these things a little bit, it has its limits. He has never been pregnant or given birth. He doesn't know what it is like to date a guy or know what it is like to be hormonally crazy once a month. He isn't a big fan of shopping either.

I also think that if I had a sister, or I would hope, that maybe, just maybe we would live near each other. I have always believed that men more often than women, move away from family, at least their own family but they will live closer to the wife's family.

I really could have used a sister during my school days too. I really needed that "built in" friend. I had a really hard time getting through the years and I think (or at least day dream) that it would have been better with a sister in it.

Also our family was an odd numbered family. On family trips, my brothers could hang out and my parents had each other.... and I was odd man out. If there would have been four of us, well then I would have had someone.

I do have some great sister-in-laws but it really isn't the same. But alas, I do not have a sister and I never will.... so I just have to be thankfully for what I do have and I am!! :) (even if I will always miss having a sister)


Rebecca said...

I love this blog but I have a question. I feel trapped and alone and i feel like Im seperating myself from my kids in every way possible. They are young 5 and 3 and I love them so much! But i cant seem to find the super mom in me. I feel like im failing as a mother, it makes me feel suicidal. I want to walk away because I feel someone else would be better for them. What should I do? I hate the standards set for a mother and a single mother at that...its hard! You dont get enough credit but you get plenty of critism from strangers and family. Im a unique person and I want my kids to experience life in a unique way but I dont know how to do that without putting my kids at risk with the law because of the rules and standards. In my opinion I believe as long as the child is safe loved fed and happy why should you get in trouble by the law. I want to travel and meet new people but i want my kids with me every step of the way. Any advice?

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