Saturday, October 27, 2007

I'm back and a party

Sooo I made it back after a very successful work trip. Had an awesome time in New Orleans. Good food and good people. I did miss Goofball while I was gone... I know its weird because its not like I get to see him everyday. Lately it has been once a week.... sometimes twice a week and even sometimes not at all in a week.

Anyway, came back last night (Friday) and today we are having a party.... K is having a party. So I have a house full (ask Goofball) of kids.... ranging from 14 down to say age 5 (my youngest). It is fun.... Goofball came over. Sooo cute, he wore a costume. I think he had fun laughing at the kids or me, I'm not sure which. Either way it was great to see him.

So the party is going on all around me. Since most of the kids are 7th and 8th graders, and there are boys and girls, it is a lot of drama. They keep running from the back yard to the front to the back to the front.... And the girls keep running in groups to K's room and the bathroom. They boys keep trying to scare the girls by hiding and then jumping out. All of them have their cell phones and keep calling other kids that aren't here and kinda bragging about how they are at this party.

There is about an hour left before I start kicking people out. And, I can't wait! I'm exhausted.

Soooo that is the news from my edge of the world.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Travelin' for work

Tomorrow I'll be back in New Orleans for the third time in about 6 mths. Not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not. I mean on one hand yeah cuz they have great food, it is a different city and I get a break from the kiddos. But, then I will be working my tail off! and I will miss my kids and while I don't normally see Goofball during the week, I know I will miss him in a way too cuz I know I'm hours away. I know I'm weird, oh well.

Anyway, back this weekend.

EJ has left the building.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Another saturday night and.....

I'm an affectionate person. I like to touch, kiss, hug and I like to be touched, kissed and hugged.

My ex was not. He didn't hold my hand. The few times he did, I could tell he didn't want to. So it just felt wrong. He kissed me but only to initiate sex.... and then it was over as quick as it started. He didn't kiss me during. Just some kissing before and it was over. Now on this note, I have never had sex with someone that I didn't like to kiss so this was something that changed in him really quickly. We used to kiss a lot when we first started dating but.... it didn't last even the first year. Then on the hugging. He would let me hug him but rarely did he put his arms around me.


Oh well moment over.

So tonight I enjoyed all three and it was so nice. I think it makes the sex better too. I mean for me, not sure if it does for him.... (grin)

Anyway, another wonderful, amazing night with Goofball. He looked damn sexy tonight, more than usually.... Yum. I was having a really hard time tending to the food because really all I wanted to do was drag him to the floor or the bed or where ever. I had to have him.

Thanks for a fun night, Goofball. Glad you enjoyed dinner and dessert. It was fun to cook for you. I'm glad everything turned out okay... I wasn't too crazy about the chicken though it wasn't terrible. Next time something with beef. I like beef. I'm from Texas. :)

Anyway, I get the kiddos tomorrow at noon. Gotta drive up half way and pick them up. I'm enjoying my break but I will be glad to get them back. I'm having some weird mommy guilt over handing them over to a man that had just an hour before threatened my cats and then just before walking out half joked about not giving me the kids back. WTF?! So I will be anxious to get to the pick up location and then get my babies back where they belong.

Oh and I'm complaining a lot about money lately but mostly because Dec 25th is just around the corner. I don't really worry toooo much about money. A little but who doesn't? But, right now I'm feeling the pressure of the Big day. It will be fine though. I am just going to work a plan and stick to it. The kids really don't need much and I have already let the big kids know things will be a bit tighter than normal. So we shall see.

And that in a nutshell is my Saturday night. Of course I'm singing "Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody, I got some money cuz I just got paid..." Love that song!

Another random 7

Aimee over at GreebleMonkey tagged me with the 7 random facts. (Kisses, Aimee!)

Before I get started I wanted to talk about this PIM thing aka Psycho Internet Moms. Now I can't remember who started this, I'm thinking Julie's hubby did. All I remember is it was a hubby.

Anyway, so these PIMs are some of my best friends. They have been in my life for nearly 6 yrs. Wow, has it been nearly 6 yrs??? I guess so. They are my support system when I couldn't share with my family and felt all alone. They have been there for so many things. Talked me through my moves and divorce and my depression. We have shared pregnancies, births, deaths, illness, new jobs, new homes, new pets, recipes and sex stories. We have shared children's firsts, tips on parenting, tips on cleaning, tips on tipping and pictures and so much more.

I can't wait until the day I can say I have meet each and every single one of you.... and I'm getting close!

Okay enough mushy on the random 7.

Not gonna post the rules, ya know 'em, right?

1. I have been to just over half the states in the US. Most of them in a car.

2. I am a horrible speller and I have a lot of trouble with phonics. I can't sound out words. I have tried, tried, tried. I just can't.

3. I'm a really bad house keeper. I hate cleaning! (which is what I'm suppose to be doing right now).

4. I have all kinds of weird things I say. Some are quotes from TV shows, movies and commercials. Some are things we said growing up and then some are just picked up here and there.

5. The same doctor (at the same hospital) that delivered my mom, delivered me and my two younger brothers.

6. I sing in the car. I sing in the shower. I sing all the time. Simon would put on the list of the World's worst.... that's okay, I just don't sing in front of anyone but my kids!

7. I want a dog.

And, that's it. I will not be tagging anyone. Feel free to do it on your own. Let me know if you do! I would love to read it!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Can you hear that?

It is the sound of mom getting a much needed break!

So the dad came alllllll the way from The Big D to get the kiddos. I wish I could say I was happy about that. Oh I am but it meant having him in my house. He has always been an ass about my cats and my housecleaning.... and my weight and a ton of other issues that I could see the gears turning in his head.

As it is, he told me that if he had these cats, he would have fed them to a couple rottweilers. Seriously? You're an asshole!

I don't care. I get a break. I have been so busy at work. Beyond busy! So I really need the rest.

Gonna spend time relaxing (read - sleep), some cleaning and then some time with Goofball too.

That's it. That's my plan. It sounds excellent to me.

FYI - I am going to be uber busy from now until Thanksgiving so if I'm not commenting to your blog, its lack of time and energy, not lack of interest!!!!! And, if I'm not writing much in my own, its pretty much the same reason. I'll be in New Orleans next week! Goooood foood!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I'm been hit.... save yourself!

Ha, ha. Just kidding.... sort of.

Margaret tagged me with a randoms thing meme. Thanks sweetie. I'm going to forgive you because you are still walking around in the lovey dovey, fresh from your wedding day fog. Plus I like ya!

So here are the rules..... Players start with eight random facts and/or habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged and to read your blog.

Okay so Margaret broke the rules and I plan to as well.... but you will have to wait until the end to see what the broken rule is!

Gosh this is going to be hard because I think I have shared most anything I can think of.....

1. I guess first I will say, I didn't have a wedding ceremony. Justice of the Peace with his boss and some random court house worker that just happened to be in the wrong place, wrong time as our witnesses. Who would have known it would end in divorce?!?!

2. I don't like the smell of microwave popcorn..... at all!

3. I love balloons.

4. I crave information. If I don't know about something, I research. I read. I have to learn.

5. I only get my haircut maybe twice a year.... sometimes, just once a year. But, I do cut my own bangs.... a lot!

6. I do not like scary movies. I also can't stand this time of year when they show all the Halloween movies.

7. I love snowmen! That is my favorite "winter" thing. I could decorate my whole house with snowmen for Christmas/Winter.

8. I love pajamas! I wear them a lot.... a lot, a lot.

Okay so there are my 8. Now I am suppose to tag 8 people.... but here is where I will break the rules. I'm not going to tag anyone. I will say, if you want to do this, do it and leave me a comment so I know to visit your blog!!!!


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Bring on the rain

This song is sung by Jo Dee Messina. It really explains how I feel right now.

Like gosh, I got through another crazy, stressful day... what more could go wrong? how much more can I take of this? But, screw it, I'm up for the challenge.... Bring it on cuz I like the challenge. I'm up for it.

This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.

I mean heck I'm trying to teach my kids this very thing. Be strong. Don't let life get you down, don't cry. Stand up, stand strong and keep on truckin'.

Soooo anyway, this was just something I thought of while driving home stuck in traffic.

Bring on the rain.

(Update: I decided to add the video to it.... as you can see....)

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Teaching my daughter to date

.... and learning a little along the way myself!

This is something I never really thought we would be doing at the same time, or I mean I never thought I would be divorced and dating. And while my daughter is still a bit young (13), she is starting to have "boyfriends".... with this and my dating, I am trying to teach her. I also find that I am learning with her and from her. My boys, especially the oldest one, are also a big help. To see things through his eyes.... well, it is a fun and interesting learning experience!

So some of the things I want her to know are:

1. Do not settle for someone that doesn't make you happy, that doesn't respect you and that just is very thoughtless. Do not waste time being unhappy. In that same line of thinking, do not be disrespectful and do not be thoughtless. Make this person happy and you will reap the benefits.

2. Pick your battles. Not everything has to be a fight. Decide what things are important to you and only fight those things. It makes you both a lot happier.

3. Understand the difference between busy and busy. If he does not make time to see you and only contacts you when it is very convenient for him, then he probably isn't into you. But, if he truly is busy, chances are he is going to make time for you when he isn't and he will be excited to see you each time!

4. Observe how he is with other people; most especially with seniors citizens, children and animals. If he is respectful, thoughtful and in general nice to them, he probably will be to you as well. Plus it shows he has good character. (or at least I think so!)

5. Respect guy time. It is important for him to spend time away from you and especially good if you show you trust him and respect him while he does whatever guys do. But also make sure you do stuff yourself. Have a hobby or a good friend or some interest that you can do. Being a couple and being together is great, but having some space can make you appreciate your time together too.

6. Let him be a guy. What ever that means for him, be it silly jokes, goofy behavior, watching Sci-Fi, football every Sunday and Monday. It doesn't matter. Understand this is who he is. Don't try to change him. Don't let him change you either. The point of a relationship is to be yourself and this person should bring out the best in you, not the worst.

7. Communicate your feelings to him. Do not drop hints and do not expect that he can read your mind. He may sometimes get lucky and do what you were wanting but it isn't mind reading. Accept it.

8. Do not play games and do not stay with someone that does.

9. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

10. And lastly, decide what things are important to you, such as, good conversation, a good sense of humor or whatever it is. Find someone that has these things. The bottom line is not to settle. There are too many people out there.

I am sure there are more lessons and more things but for me, right now, these are the most important. I want her to know that she does not have to live unhappy, that she can find someone to fit her standards.

These are good lessons for everyone.... I just hope that I can keep her from making some of the same mistakes I did in the past and while I know she will get hurt, I hope this will minimize that a bit.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Good parenting day!

I admit it a lot of my problems as a parent come with my style of parenting. I am very open and honest with my kids. I am very hands off in a way because I let them express themselves and tend to be more their friend then mom, though I do remind them often of my role. I am bad with discipline and often don't follow through as well as I should.

Also I worry, as I have mentioned before, that my kids are smarter than me. If one day they realize this, I will be in some serious trouble!

With that said, I do not think I'm a bad mom at all. No not at all. I think this just works for us and while it sometimes causes me some stress, overall, we do good together.

Today, though, was just a banner day for me. I am floating, walking on the clouds.... Why? Because all my children were good today. They listened. They each had a good day at school. They listened to me!!! I didn't have to nag. We had a really, really good evening too.

I just feel really good as a parent right now!

Monday, October 01, 2007

Bitter... Party of one

Yeah that is me today. A bit bitter. A lot of resentment surfacing today.

My ex text messaged me today about dates for when he would see the kids again. He wrote down the wrong days but I didn't know until I called him to discuss rather than going back and forth on text messages.

Background: He lives in Dallas. It is roughly 4-5 hours away from us.... by car that is. So he doesn't see the kids often because for him work always comes first. Always. And, if you have been reading this blog for a while, you know that they were with him for 2 months this summer. Well they haven't seen him since.

He plans to see them the weekend of Oct 19th.... Not sure if the girlfriend is coming with him but that was his plan. K doesn't want her to come because she wants time with just her dad. She felt she didn't get enough just dad time because the girlfriend was almost always around. Now I wasn't there so I don't really know how much time she was around .... but hearing from all three kids that she was around a lot, just means she probably was.

So back to the phone call.

I was annoyed with him before I even called him to discuss dates for the kids. I was annoyed because he was text messaging me the wrong dates. We had already talked about this. I was annoyed that he had lied to the kids about the last time I talked to him! I hate that he gets to just be the "fun guy" and I have to always be the bad guy... or at least the one here. Plugged in every single day. I am the one that misses work if the kids have a problem.

So we got the dates down and he starts in with the "small talk".... I'm not wanting to do this part. But, he is just going on and on about this and that. He is in school trying to get his degree. He is always competing with me and really when we were married, I with him. He now wants to get into Human Resources.... That is what I DO! WTF?! I have always talked about being in HR. I have worked in HR before and I'm finally back in it. I'm happy.

But, now he wants to do it too....

But, he was also talking about being a guidance counselor which I thought was just wow... not a good fit for him.

Anywho... basically I got really bitchy. My little passive aggressive self showed its ugly head. I was making rude little comments. But they were the kind that would take you a second to realize I was really being insulting.

I'm not a details person so don't ask what I said.... I have no ideas. I think I said he would be better as a Used Car Salesmen and then said something like no you would be great as a Realtor for Ocean front property in Arizona. Then I said something that I wish I could remember because it was goood, if I do say so myself.

His reply was "thanks.... wait? Was that a compliment or a put down?" Hmm yeah. I said that I am still harboring some anger issues. He said, "Towards me?" Hmmm yeeaahhh, hello.

Anyway, yes I'm angry. Why does he get so much time off as a parent? Why does he not have to be here?

But, yeah know, true to my form, I have to end positive. I am lucky. I am very blessed. He does pay child support. He does call and talk to them. Even though he doesn't see them often, he does. And, while I don't agree with his choices, I am happy for him.

But above it all, I am soooo very glad I am not married to him anymore.