Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

So I got this from a friend....

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

I thought it was really cute!

To update, I feel a tad better and I can't wait to go to my parents' house later. We are having a fairly decent sized crowd coming today! Originally it was only going to be my parents, me, my three, my two nieces and nephew and then my bro and his wife (maybe her two kids). Yeah that seems pretty big, huh? But now it is all those people plus my Aunt A, my Uncle J, my grandmother, my Aunt M and my cousin A and her husband C. Now that is more like it. Though we are still missing many people in my family.... I am thankfully so see so many. My Aunt D, Uncle E and my other grandmother (Dad's side of family) are planning to stop by later in the day to visit, but not have lunch.

And I will leave you with this.... For the record I am agnostic but I believe in a higher power of sorts and having a positive attitude is never a bad thing ....

"Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses;
Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes;
Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears;
Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean;
Count your health instead of your wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself."

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The one in which I whine a lot or one sick puppy

Soooo I just got back from the doctor. 3rd urinary tract infection in like 2 mths. Ack! But if that isn't bad enough.... sinus infection. Awesome!

This is miserable. Fever. Aches. Pain. Whine, whine, whine.

My brother is coming tomorrow for lunch. He will be going to Iraq again soon and I want to see him so I have to feel better or at least well enough to see him tomorrow.

But despite all that.... I am pretty thankful for well everything.... My kids. Goofball. My family. My house. My job.... etc....

So even if things seem miserable and you feel like crap! There is a lot to be thankful for.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The one in which I forget to name it....

Gotta this from A Single Mom's Life. Love her blog!

7 things I plan to do before I die

1. Go to Europe!
2. Go on a cruise to Alaska
3. Go to Africa!
4. Get my MBA
5. Write (and actually finish) a book
6. Landscape my backyard!
7. Australia! Need I say more? (lots of travel)

7 things I do now

1. Work
2. Clean
3. Raise kiddos
4. Kiss a sexy guy! (whenever I get a chance)
5. Drive kids around.
6. Sleep
7. Hmmm, work?

7 things I can’t do

1. Keep my house clean! :)
2. Keep up with my children.
3. Spend enough time with a sexy man. (a specific one-BTW)
4. Find enough time to do things for myself
5. Keep my house clean!
6. Get organized.
7. Save for a rainy day.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex

1. Gotta make me laugh (even if it isn't completely outward laughing)
2. Great eyes.
3. Someone that is respectful, treats me great.
4. Great hands.
5. Is in to me!
6. Loves kids!
7. Loves animals, especially doggies.

7 things I say most often

1. Awesome.
2. Whatever.
3. Don't hit your brother. Don't yell out your brother. (etc)
4. "Feed the dog." "Would someone feed the dog!?"
5. I don't know, what do you want to do?
6. Down! Off! Stop! Leave it! (to the dog)
7. When I have enough time, I'll.....

7 celebrities I admire (This one is hard for me... I don't really admire many celebs)

1. Queen Latifah
2. Ellen Degeneres
3. Will Smith
4. Kevin James (he is sooo damn funny!)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Keeping kids out of the middle

I was asked by TLC Book tours to read and review, Keeping Kids out of the Middle by Benjamin Garber, Ph.d.

This is my first so I hope I do a good job! I haven't talked much about it on this blog but I am a big time reader. I used to have more time for reading. I could always be found with a book. I typically used to read a book a day, sometimes two a day, depending on what was going on in my life at the time (more free time, more reading time!) I have books all over the house so I feel like I am well prepared for this review! :)

What is this book about?

The book is about being child-centered, not pulling our children into grown up fights and putting them in the middle of our issues. We are the adults, they are the children.

Who is this book for?

This book is for all parents (and that includes step parents)! While it is geared more towards parents that are separated or divorcing, it has a lot of great tips for all parents. Every one with kids or a big part of a child's life should read it.

What I thought:

This book was about two to three years too late for my divorce and much of the information is not completely relevant to me anymore (such as the parts about how to set up the custody agreement.) However, that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it or that I didn't get anything out of it. I realized that many of the things that I thought I was doing was right were actually wrong! Wow, eye openers all through the book. I do wish this would have been around 3-4 years ago so I could avoid those mistakes.

Anyway, throughout the book, Dr. Garber gives examples of what to say to the kids when they have questions. He uses a grading scale of A - F, just like from school days. He would give different scenarios and then gives you various responses, saying things like if you say this, then you get an F, say this and you get a B, etc. He also had some interactive sections with quizzes. Always a plus with self-help style books (and yes I have read my fair share of them!)

As I read through, I highlighted lots of things! Many of it were mistakes I felt I made or things I had done right! Some of it was statements that left questions in my mind. Like how to explain to the kids about why the divorce happened (is happening). In the book, on page 110, he writes about the various responses to give for why did you get a divorce. Here is what the A answer was: The A answer? "What do you think?" opening the door to "We stopped loving each other," followed up with reassurance: "But your daddy will always love you, and I will always love you, no matter what."

I have a bit of a problem with this answer. This is exactly what I did with my kids but they immediately asked me "But if you can stop loving daddy, that means you can stop loving me." They believe that love ends. I have tried to explain that it is a different kind of love. Parent to child but they don't seem to buy it completely.

Then when they fight with their each other, they have asked if they can get a "divorce" or why can I divorce their dad and they can't divorce their sibling. I have explained that too but not sure if it fell on deaf ears or not. If you know me, you know that I complain a lot about the fighting between my kiddos and it is getting worse. So Dr. Garber, what do I say them?

There was also a section about when the child wants to go live with the other parent and how to handle it. If you have been reading this blog for a while, you know I have dealt with this. According to Dr. Garber, we did the right thing. Since I am the POD (parent on duty), I was the initial contact to this news. It caught me off guard so I basically tabled it until I could discuss with her dad. Then we agreed together that she was doing it for the wrong reasons. On pages 121 and 122, there is a highlighted section that talks about "Can some children choose." Dr. Garber gives 5 "if this, then yes" type of statements. We were spot on with our reasons for not letting her go. I think that if she were to make this choice now, it would be for the right reasons. We shall see what the future holds.

I guess the other thing that caught me off with the book but not because it was bad or wrong but because it was a hard thing to hear. There are rarely any true single parents. Basically it said if you have any support, you are not a single parent. He says if you are a single parent (no support) find it, even online. So for me, I have my parents, aunts and uncles, two grandmothers, friends and co-workers, as well as online friends. And while these people don't really help me with the care of the kids (my parents do some), they help me because I can vent and get advice from them. But really the parenting is all mine to do. I work, I come home to feed them, I do all the running around.... All of it. So I just don't know what to think about Dr. Garber's statement but I don't think I disagree.

Overall, I really liked his writing style. I really thought it was a well written and thought out book. It flowed well (and that is very important to me in a book!) While I didn't think much of it was useful for me, I still did find things that I can use and things I can change.

I do recommend this book to anyone who is conflicted in a marriage, going through separation or starting the divorce process. Even if you are happily married, I do think there are a lot of things in the book that you can use.

So check it out!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Howdy peeps!

Things are slowly getting back to normal in my neck of the woods. I have time to sit and think. Hurray!

The house is near done. Waiting on my custom shower door and my mirror. I have started moving all my stuff in. I should say I am nearly done moving stuff in. Thankfully Friday is my day off so I plan to work on it a lot. Also my mom and I are going to find some lights.... I have a plan in mind for what I am looking for so crossing fingers I find it! Then once I get it all set up, I will definitely take pics for y'all to see.

Tomorrow I will have posted a book review. My first! I was approached to review this book and I am really excited about it. I'm not going to say much about it.... but hope that you will come back tomorrow to check it out!

Sooo that is right now an update from Single Mom....

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Mommy needs a time-out!

I am such an introvert that when things in my world are in chaos, I get depressed and can't seem to recharge. Right now my house is just a mess, making my whole life feel like chaos.... but the good news is we are about a week from it being finished! (Hurray!!! and pics soon)

I sooo CAN.NOT.WAIT!!!

I hate not having a place that I can go "hide"... My boys are very loud people. Most boys I have been around are loud and noisy and busy and it wears me out! But right now I can't get away from them for a "time-out" or anything. So I am just stuck in the loud, noise and business. Oh and don't get me wrong, I love the noise and enjoy it being here because if it was gone, I would so not be myself but I really need that downtime to recharge and refresh myself.

I feel like I am on the edge of just collapsing or crying or both. I'm exhausted all the time, edgy and I feel like I can't relax.

But very soon, very, very, VERY soon! I will be able to hide a little. I will be able to lock my door, climb in bed and just relax.

You have probably noticed I have been quieter, not commenting much on your blog (or yours or yours or yours).... I am truly sorry. I just do not have words right now. It has taken me days to just get this short little post put together.

Anyway, soon I hope to be back to normal and back to writing and commenting.