I don't want to be one of those divorced people that married friends don't want to tell their problems to.... Ya know? They might think I will advise divorce over something as simple as not taking out the trash.
I'm not a bitter divorcee. It was, as I have said, long overdue. I only know my situation and my life. I cannot give advice to other but if asked I will share my experiences and thoughts only.
Several of my friends are having problems. Some rather serious that sound like they should really be seeking some serious help and at the very least finding out their rights with a lawyer because they may get blindsided by their spouse.
But, I don't know what to say to them. I just want to be supportive because that is how I am. Like a faithful dog.... True to the end.
I think most all marriages can be saved, heck even mine probably could have been but the key is both people have to be plugged in and working. We never were. It was always one of us or the other or even both unplugged, disengaged and not really wanting to work on it.
With that said, I want to give this one piece of advice to anyone who might be reading this and thinking, maybe me...... It was something I feel like I learned the hard way. When it is over, it is okay to give up. All too often, I noticed, that people would tell me, 'You just keep trying. Forever.' but ya know, that doesn't work for everyone. Not everyone is going to work it out and like I said about my marriage. We were done, there was no turning back for us. Neither of us were going to give anymore to it. And, that was okay.
Then there is the "Doing it for the kids" excuse. Yeah, I did that too. My kids seem better off now. They have days that are tough but I feel like they are much better off with two happy parents than two very unhappy ones.
There is never a good time for divorce so here is my final advice. Stay plugged in, try with all your might, respect each other, talk daily and above all, even its over, no regrets.
Hugs to all.