Since we have kids, I still have to talk with my ex from time to time. Also, since he doesn't live here, I end up having long phone conversations with him to keep him up to speed, but he tends to ramble. I am getting used to it and, I realize I have to be nice, friendly, polite when we talk even when I want to scream.
However, I think I am getting better, much better with these conversations. In fact, I just got off the phone with him and he was rambling about how he and his girlfriend just bought a new car together. Fine. It didn't bother me at all this time to hear him talk about him, her and their life.
So the resentment and anger are melting as I knew it would. I am sure these feelings will come back from time to time but I do feel better about things.
I know that I will have to have some kind of relationship with him and at some point his girlfriend too because I do realize she is the one. I keep waiting for him to say they are getting married, because I know it is coming. So I just make the best of it all because I am actually happy for him and plus I am very happy with my life. Very happy!!!
I also feel it is important to the children that they see we can be friendly and get along. I want to set a good example for them and I try in everything I do. This is no exception. It has been a struggle but I am getting there. Slowly but I am, and like I said, I am sure there will be more hurdles and bumps but I will just handle them as well as I can and with my children in mind.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
I'm the mom..... be afraid!
K told me today that most of her friends are scared of me. Damn!!!! That is both good and bad. The neighborhood boys BETTER be scared. The girls, well, I guess I don't care if they like me or not.
K's closest friends are not scared of me, they actually think I'm pretty cool.
Why did this come up today? Well because when I came home this evening, K and H were outside playing kick ball with their friends in the front yard. When the boys saw me coming, they all took off in the other directions. (evil laugh..... ) Good! I want to keep it that way!
She thinks its funny and so do I. She says I am cool.... that's all that matters to me! What she thinks!
K's closest friends are not scared of me, they actually think I'm pretty cool.
Why did this come up today? Well because when I came home this evening, K and H were outside playing kick ball with their friends in the front yard. When the boys saw me coming, they all took off in the other directions. (evil laugh..... ) Good! I want to keep it that way!
She thinks its funny and so do I. She says I am cool.... that's all that matters to me! What she thinks!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Saturday, February 09, 2008
I'm raising good kids!
Gosh it is night's like this that makes me feel like the best mom ever!
So tonight we had H's bday party. He is 12 now.... His bday was actually two weeks ago but we were just able to do his party. It was a bowling party. Way fun cuz we all like bowling.
It was me, my 3 kids, my parents, my bro's 3 kids and one of H's friends. It was a blast. Well when H was opening the gift from his friend, he said, "Well the best gift is that you were able to come."
Awww such a cool kid!
I was telling my mom the day before that H tends to be happy with just about anything. He is so not materialistic at all. He wouldn't have cared if he didn't get gifts but he was sure happy to have a couple too.
I love that kid. He has always been extra special and has always been kind of like my rock. He is steady so earlier this year when he was having a rough time, it really shook me up. That might seem like a lot to put on a kid but I don't tell him these things, but still....
Oh and my other two are really good kids too. But this was just one small proof of that! Hurray!
So tonight we had H's bday party. He is 12 now.... His bday was actually two weeks ago but we were just able to do his party. It was a bowling party. Way fun cuz we all like bowling.
It was me, my 3 kids, my parents, my bro's 3 kids and one of H's friends. It was a blast. Well when H was opening the gift from his friend, he said, "Well the best gift is that you were able to come."
Awww such a cool kid!
I was telling my mom the day before that H tends to be happy with just about anything. He is so not materialistic at all. He wouldn't have cared if he didn't get gifts but he was sure happy to have a couple too.
I love that kid. He has always been extra special and has always been kind of like my rock. He is steady so earlier this year when he was having a rough time, it really shook me up. That might seem like a lot to put on a kid but I don't tell him these things, but still....
Oh and my other two are really good kids too. But this was just one small proof of that! Hurray!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
My Social Network
I have gone to both my primary care and my therapist recently, and both have told me that I need to extend my social network. I was shocked! Why? Because I feel like I have a great social network but really they said it because I need more support so I can deal better with my depression, stress and anxiety, as well as just the divorce in general.
I have my family and while they haven't always been my best support, we have a lot of social gatherings and I can call just about anyone to do something. And, I do know they will always be my family. The things that they haven't supported me on were minor really and with merit so whatever. Though I think that my parents look at me as the stronger of the three of us (out of me and my two bros). So they think I can handle myself better.
Then I have Goofball but I don't like to burden him as a support exactly, just the social part and oh yes, sex! Anyway, he has his own things and responsibilities that he doesn't need to be burdened with supporting me. I do vent to him sometimes and I really enjoy our time together!
There are also my PIMs! I met them here and have "known" them for 6 years now. They have been my go to girls. They have been my support through so much. I trust them with my life, to be honest with me, to be there for me, everything. They live all over the country and even one outside of the U.S. I have met most of them in person but not all. We have annual trips to met up. I have been to 3 out of 5 so far. I have also had two of the girls come to my hometown for their work and I got to meet them then as well!
I have also made some friendships through blogging and even some that live close to me! I also have in "real-life" friendships. I have friends at work even.
However, I don't go out with folks on a regular basis, other than Goofball. I just don't make time for it. I'll admit it. I have that working mom's guilt over leaving my kids since I work 10-11 hours a day (that includes commute time). If I had a more "normal" custody arrangement, then I would at least have every other weekend to myself to form and build relationships. I wouldn't have that guilt over leaving the kids and going out. So then when I do have time off, I have no idea what to do with myself because I haven't formed lastly friendships.
And how the heck do I make friends as a grown up? I don't even know! Not many of the people I do know have children my kids' ages. They are younger or older so it makes it hard to do stuff as families. Or our town is so big it is hard to find a meeting place. And everyone seems so busy. Weekends are for laundry, house work, errands and just in general down time.
I also don't have a house that is great for entertaining. Don't get me wrong, its cute but doesn't have the floor plan for entertaining. Oh plus I need living room furniture.... ya know, that helps.
Sooooo anyway, I'm at a loss. What do I do? How do I make in "real life" friends? And once I make those friends, how do I keep them and do things with them and build a social network and support system???
Both the PCP and the therapist have challenged me to work on this so I have a few weeks to come up with a plan and even put some to action. Oh joy! Any ideas on how to get past my shyness and step out of my introverted self to make friends?
I have my family and while they haven't always been my best support, we have a lot of social gatherings and I can call just about anyone to do something. And, I do know they will always be my family. The things that they haven't supported me on were minor really and with merit so whatever. Though I think that my parents look at me as the stronger of the three of us (out of me and my two bros). So they think I can handle myself better.
Then I have Goofball but I don't like to burden him as a support exactly, just the social part and oh yes, sex! Anyway, he has his own things and responsibilities that he doesn't need to be burdened with supporting me. I do vent to him sometimes and I really enjoy our time together!
There are also my PIMs! I met them here and have "known" them for 6 years now. They have been my go to girls. They have been my support through so much. I trust them with my life, to be honest with me, to be there for me, everything. They live all over the country and even one outside of the U.S. I have met most of them in person but not all. We have annual trips to met up. I have been to 3 out of 5 so far. I have also had two of the girls come to my hometown for their work and I got to meet them then as well!
I have also made some friendships through blogging and even some that live close to me! I also have in "real-life" friendships. I have friends at work even.
However, I don't go out with folks on a regular basis, other than Goofball. I just don't make time for it. I'll admit it. I have that working mom's guilt over leaving my kids since I work 10-11 hours a day (that includes commute time). If I had a more "normal" custody arrangement, then I would at least have every other weekend to myself to form and build relationships. I wouldn't have that guilt over leaving the kids and going out. So then when I do have time off, I have no idea what to do with myself because I haven't formed lastly friendships.
And how the heck do I make friends as a grown up? I don't even know! Not many of the people I do know have children my kids' ages. They are younger or older so it makes it hard to do stuff as families. Or our town is so big it is hard to find a meeting place. And everyone seems so busy. Weekends are for laundry, house work, errands and just in general down time.
I also don't have a house that is great for entertaining. Don't get me wrong, its cute but doesn't have the floor plan for entertaining. Oh plus I need living room furniture.... ya know, that helps.
Sooooo anyway, I'm at a loss. What do I do? How do I make in "real life" friends? And once I make those friends, how do I keep them and do things with them and build a social network and support system???
Both the PCP and the therapist have challenged me to work on this so I have a few weeks to come up with a plan and even put some to action. Oh joy! Any ideas on how to get past my shyness and step out of my introverted self to make friends?
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