I am often surprised that years after the divorce, years after being well over and ready for the divorce.... I still hit bumps in the road.
So today is would be my 15th wedding anniversary, instead, it is just another day. Small bump but not huge. I am definitely much happier post-divorce and away from him. That was a very bad relationship and I knew it for a long time. It was long over due but.... I see couples at the store, at the park, at restaurants, with their children or just each other, and it is another small bump.
Then because I am insane or nosy or both.... but the stepmom and I are "friends" on Myspace. Well she posted new pictures of them.... Christmas pictures of them. Happy, smiling couple. This is a big bump for me. Something I always wanted to do but only once did we take pictures together. One time. There they sit in their perfect house, fire, Christmas tree, stockings hanging on the mantle. Their dogs sitting with them.
Turns the stomach I tell you.
*sigh*
And I am not saying I really want that, for sure not life with him. I really do love my life and I am happy with my choices. It is just some little bumps of life after divorce... nothing more.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
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4 comments:
Awww my friend...hugs to you. I can imagine how difficult this must be. I have also noticed those "bumps" regarding past relationships, days that used to be significant etc.
No marriages or kids were involved for me, though, so my bumps were minor compared to yours. I think it's just a normal part of being human. I keep fingers crossed that those bumps are a thing of the past for me, but if they ever did happen again - they would be very difficult, especially around the holidays.
Bravo to you for recognizing it and writing about it! From reading your blog, I can tell that you are much happier now and you wouldn't go back to your previous life, but still - that doesn't mean the bumps disappear. (Terrific analogy by the way, I'm going to remember that!) Big hugs are headed your way!
hey girl, i'm on myspace, how come you never told me - i'll respond more later i was just thrown for a loop there (email me so you can look me up halfadozenkids@hotmail.com).
bbl!
I wish I had something inspiring to say. Except, I'm sorry. Bumps can be painful. Hugs....
Just take the picture anyway - this time with your kids and you. Might not be the same, but it'll be a good memory.
{{{{{Hugs to you!!}}}}
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