Friday, July 03, 2009

Back when I was a new mommy

It has been a while since I was a first time mommy. It was actually just over 15 yrs ago. My little girl was born June 25.... she came two weeks early.

I was in the Navy at the time so I got 6 weeks maternity leave. Not too much but then I was a shining star, climbing the ladder type. So 6 wks was fine with me, except for one thing. I had to find child care for my precious baby. Okay... okay but my worry was she would know me as mom in name only. I was worried she would love another in that "mom/daughter" way.

Well that never happened and my fears were quickly put to rest the first time I picked her up and she smiled the hugest smile for me! Then the first time she giggled and reached for me.

Well 1 year ago today, my children got a new "mom" in their life. She had been in their life already for a year and that was a tough year for all of us. We were dealing with so many new emotions and feels. The kids were nervous to let me know they liked her. I was fighting back some jealous feelings, though not for him/her but for my kids. I didn't want them to love another "mom".... But it was too late, I liked her as soon as I met her. She is a nice, bubbly person. The kind that you can't help but seem to like.

As soon as I did meet her, I knew they were going to get married. I just could feel a vibe (I do that a lot).... So I started a friendship with her. Some may think it is weird but it works for us and I feel better about who my kids are spending time with. I trust her.... maybe even more than I trust my ex with them. Sad really.

Today is their 1 year anniversary and I am happy to have her as part of our weird little family. I couldn't ask for a better person to love my children and for them to think of in that mommy way.

I know they love me more than anyone else in the world.... :)

1 comment:

margaret said...

Oh Erica. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to see your kids in the care of another (even part-time) and worry that somehow you might be "replaced"...but at the other end of the emotional tug-o-war is the fact that you want your kids to be safe and happy at all times.

I think you have handled this difficult situation so beautifully! You will NEVER be replaced in your kids' hearts. You will ALWAYS be the one and only Mom. You have set an example for them as to how a mature adult handles difficult situations, and I am sure that that example will serve them well in their adult lives.

And I am happy that their dad's spouse seems to be such a neat, cool, down to earth person, and that you feel totally comfortable that your kids are safe and happy during their time with her. Big, big hugs to you!