Yeah that is me today. A bit bitter. A lot of resentment surfacing today.
My ex text messaged me today about dates for when he would see the kids again. He wrote down the wrong days but I didn't know until I called him to discuss rather than going back and forth on text messages.
Background: He lives in Dallas. It is roughly 4-5 hours away from us.... by car that is. So he doesn't see the kids often because for him work always comes first. Always. And, if you have been reading this blog for a while, you know that they were with him for 2 months this summer. Well they haven't seen him since.
He plans to see them the weekend of Oct 19th.... Not sure if the girlfriend is coming with him but that was his plan. K doesn't want her to come because she wants time with just her dad. She felt she didn't get enough just dad time because the girlfriend was almost always around. Now I wasn't there so I don't really know how much time she was around .... but hearing from all three kids that she was around a lot, just means she probably was.
So back to the phone call.
I was annoyed with him before I even called him to discuss dates for the kids. I was annoyed because he was text messaging me the wrong dates. We had already talked about this. I was annoyed that he had lied to the kids about the last time I talked to him! I hate that he gets to just be the "fun guy" and I have to always be the bad guy... or at least the one here. Plugged in every single day. I am the one that misses work if the kids have a problem.
So we got the dates down and he starts in with the "small talk".... I'm not wanting to do this part. But, he is just going on and on about this and that. He is in school trying to get his degree. He is always competing with me and really when we were married, I with him. He now wants to get into Human Resources.... That is what I DO! WTF?! I have always talked about being in HR. I have worked in HR before and I'm finally back in it. I'm happy.
But, now he wants to do it too....
But, he was also talking about being a guidance counselor which I thought was just wow... not a good fit for him.
Anywho... basically I got really bitchy. My little passive aggressive self showed its ugly head. I was making rude little comments. But they were the kind that would take you a second to realize I was really being insulting.
I'm not a details person so don't ask what I said.... I have no ideas. I think I said he would be better as a Used Car Salesmen and then said something like no you would be great as a Realtor for Ocean front property in Arizona. Then I said something that I wish I could remember because it was goood, if I do say so myself.
His reply was "thanks.... wait? Was that a compliment or a put down?" Hmm yeah. I said that I am still harboring some anger issues. He said, "Towards me?" Hmmm yeeaahhh, hello.
Anyway, yes I'm angry. Why does he get so much time off as a parent? Why does he not have to be here?
But, yeah know, true to my form, I have to end positive. I am lucky. I am very blessed. He does pay child support. He does call and talk to them. Even though he doesn't see them often, he does. And, while I don't agree with his choices, I am happy for him.
But above it all, I am soooo very glad I am not married to him anymore.