Monday, November 26, 2007

In the light of day

So today is a new day. I do try to start them all off on a positive note. I try not to let things from yesterday bug me today.

K seemed a little better this morning, though she was really hard to get up. Gee wonder why? And, that is why mom says go to bed on time!!!

Anyway, I can't tell if she was snappy this morning because she was cranky from lack of sleep or still cranky about last night. We will talk later.

I have to admit, I'm still really hurt and angry over this. And while I wish I could say it is all at K, it is not. I know, I know, she is old enough to be responsible for her actions in this. But I can't help but shot blame at her father. Now I won't admit this to them but I actually hate him. I don't know when it came to this but I could feel it building. I think it was my last conversation with him that just did it. I can honestly say I have never really hated anyone before. It doesn't feel good but it is how I feel. I have spent years and years in counseling to be able to identify and understand how I feel. I was also told by a counselor, "Nobody can tell you how to feel. Nobody can tell you it is wrong because it is just how you feel. Its an emotion." Ya know, it is true and it really was a freeing moment for me. She went on to explain that it is how we act and react to the feelings that truly matters. True, true.

Anyway, it is a new day. I'm going to try like heck to put those horrible feelings and words out of my head, not bottled up but out. And as always, just keep on movin' on.

3 comments:

trappedintime said...

Sounds like you should have a lemon cupcake with a marshmallow smiley face. That should fix things right up :p

trapped said...

and give K one too!

TxGambit said...

I gave her some hot chocolate with marshmallows.

It worked wonders.

Oh and we talked. ;)