Busted!

So the guy I have been talking to (I should give him a cool nickname!) read my blog. I had told him about it and sent him the link, I don’t know actually when, a while ago… a month or more, maybe? Anyway, so he final read it. LOL! I’m busted…. Just kidding. I don’t really mind at all or else I wouldn’t have sent him the link. I also have a rule about not writing stuff that I don’t want people to read.

This is actually kind of funny to me because a few of things I have written, I have wanted him to read because I have been to chicken to bring them up or some of it I thought he might get a kick out of getting to know me, kind of. I’m soooo passive aggressive or just passive or just aggressive, I can never remember which. But basically I would rather someone find out indirectly about things…. I’m getting a little bit better at speaking my mind but some things; I’m just not ready yet.

This is one of them. Now in my “Meet and Greet Part 3” blog entry, I don’t know if I got my true point across. So this entry is just in case he reads it again AND so I can maybe sort out my thoughts more before he and I discuss (we agreed to discuss this in person).

Anywho, to start, what we have talked about it is neither of us are looking for a serious relationship. Oh so true for me! But, then my point in my original blog was, what is serious? I have no idea! Given my past (ha, ha) 3 mths is serious…. But this doesn’t feel like that and I am definitely in a different place in my life, definitely older and wiser, and a place where serious just doesn’t work for me. So far this has been casual and a friendship. It’s exactly what I want and need.

Now with that said, I want to just discuss with him that we are both on the same page with this. And what does he think serious is…. Just because I’m curious what he thinks. I still don’t really know what I think serious is…. What is it?

Then I had listed the things I want in a relationship. This could apply to any relationship; my parents, kids, friends, future boyfriend(s), co-workers even (okay maybe not affection for this last one)….. But, really you have to have many of those qualities in a relationship and I haven’t always been great about making sure I surround myself with “good” people.

In my other entry, I also said things like, “I don’t want to scare him off” “I don’t want to be clingy, needy”…. I mean it! I know me and me can be this way…. But strangely, I don’t feel that now. Like I don’t feel needy or clingy, I am just enjoying getting to know him as a friend, period. Have I mentioned he cracks me up? No? well he does!

At some point I will be ready for something more. I know what I want in a relationship and I know the type of person I would like it to be with. I feel I know me better too. I don’t know how long it will take me to get to a “ready for a serious relationship” place but I think it will depend on the person I am with at the time. One thing is for sure, I will want to take my time with any guy/dating/relationships from now on because the one with the ex was extremely rushed and I want a friend if I were to ever marry again.