Friday, March 27, 2009

What's in a name? .... Everything!

The name of my blog is Single Mom Finding Herself. I started writing this about 3 yrs ago (actually in May it will be 3 yrs). I had tried two times before to start a blog but I couldn't find my niche, the thing that would make me want to write and make me stand out a bit.

At the time I was starting a journey of going from being a couple with children to being two separate people with children. He was moving 200+ miles away and I was going to school, looking for permanent work and trying hard to raise three children.... Oh and trying to date.... but first that would take sorting through what I had become and looking deep for the person I really was.

My marriage had nearly killed me. My soul was sold to that man in 1999 when I decided to not go through with the divorce then. That haunted me year after year. Until August 2004, when an old boyfriend came back into my life, only via emails and IM, but I was able to put some closure of hurt that I still carried from that relationship and break up. It made me strong and I knew what I had to do. It took months but I finally got my husband (now ex) to agree to let me come home and look for a job. I knew I wasn't going back and so did he. He likes to remember it differently and that is okay. We all have our own views on life... this is mine. I knew that by coming back here, I was going to get a divorce. Though I did try a few times that last year.... it was really over.

This is why I started my blog and Single Mom Finding Herself fit then and still fits now. It really describes me and to be honest I have thought a lot about starting a new blog to give myself a little anonymity. Many people know about this blog now, even though I haven't been as active lately, my name is still out there. There are things I want to write about that I would rather people that know me, not read. Why? I don't know. Everyone can have a few secrets, right?

Recently I was talking with M is for Misanthrope, as part of our conversation, she said how my name really holds true because I am still on a road of discovery. Okay, maybe not her exact words but ya know.... I think we are all doing that, everyday. We change and rediscovery something about our self everyday.

So my blog is here to stay. I do not have another blog. I do not plan to start another and the only way I would is if I took my name with me.... I will just follow my dad's long given advice of "Don't write anything you don't want someone to read."

Besides, if I don't keep up the blog, my book won't make as much sense!


margaret (the misanthrope) said...

Awww - thanks for the mention, I'm so honored *hugs* :-) I think many people are on voyages of discovery inside and outside of themselves. I certainly am.

I admire your honesty and your capacity to "step outside yourself" (so to speak) and look at what's going on in your life, and how various things have brought you to this point on your journey. You've made me think a lot about myself and my journey too!

And your Dad's comment is right. I guess that's what makes blogging a double-edged sword: what you write can be dictated by who you think might read it. I've also thought of a more "private" blog, and it's something to consider, but at the moment I have a tough enough time keeping up with one!

*sigh* Fair winds and following seas to all of us as we continue on our journeys! I'm glad to be reading along with you!

margaret (the misanthrope) said...

P.S. I just replayed your last sentence in my mind. Book? Tell me you aren't kidding. If you write a book, I will be first in the autograph line :-)

Jems said...

Continuity is good. I learnt that - I'm on my third blog too and really wish I'd had the strength and courage to continue the first and write more openly about things.