Friday, October 03, 2008

People on pedestals

.... are bound to fall off.

This is something I have dealt with before and this post is in general. However, I am writing it now because I recently let go of a friendship.

There is a lesson that I have learned from Goofball. Well several but one of the most valuable is "No expectations." It took me a while to figure out what that meant or how to apply that to my life. But now that I have, I see things very differently.

However, most of these people on pedestals were pre-no expectations living. They were people that I admired, looked up to and/or that gave me strength.

Only later did I realize that they were human. Only later did I realize that they had faults. Only later did they fall from those pedestals on which I put them.

It is really heartbreaking to feel this way but I let it happen. I had the expectations of hero/heroine. It wasn't them that climbed up there, they didn't ask for such glory in my life. I did it.

Sooo I have definitely learned a lesson in regards to myself and expectations for people. While it isn't wrong to look up to people or admire them, don't expect perfection or hero behavior. Expect that at times they won't live up to it and just accept that.

Or something like that! :)


Fairy said...

good post!

Jems said...

I have to disagree with goofball on this one - expectation is a solid basis for any friendship, but it has to be a realistic attainable one that is within the boundaries and acceptance of the bond between two people. Without expectation how can you know you have the right to rely on the power of that friendship when you really need it and vice versa for them to you?

Jems said...

I suppose what I'm saying is that if there is no expectation and the putting on the pedestal was one sided, then was it really a friendship to begin with?

TxGambit said...

Jems, I appreciate that comments! It wasn't a friendship and really that was my point. That is why I have had to let several "friends" go. One-sided definitely.

I completely understand what you are saying and it took me a while to realize what the "no expectations" meant. It isn't all inclusive as in "don't expect your friends to be there." but more in just realize that people are humans.

I don't think I am explaining it well but I totally see what you are saying.

trappedintime said...

I think you've done a great job of explaining just one of the many uses for "no expectations".
While freinds and loved ones need to be counted on, you have to be careful putting all your expectations on their being there and their performance while they are there.

lisaschaos said...

Such a good message. It's easy to look at someone and admire them so much then be disappointed but as you said, they didn't ask to be put there.