Saturday, October 04, 2008

Random Mom Stuff

I will admit I am a nerd for commercials and really any marketing. I should so write a marketing blog (analyze commercials or something). When I go back to school, I am leaning heavily towards marketing.

So anyway, I have been seeing a commercial for a pre-packaged/cooked meat. This woman (mom) is describing her day. Her tone and body language suggest that she is tired and stressed by her day. Here is how it goes (sort of, I don’t remember each line):
* Wake up call 6:00 AM
* Kids up and off to school
* Then her 9-5 job
* “And then home to dinner that is waiting for me (pause for dramatic effect… long enough?) for me to cook it.”

Oh yes, this is soooo my day! I am exhausted by my day, my life most of the time. And, despite the fact that I love my job, I’m exhausted most evenings. I have a fairly flexible work schedule with every other Friday off. I truly enjoy what I do, though most of the time it is a high stress, fast-paced job. It is what I love to do! (Okay aside from my interest in marketing…. I would soooo be all over that!)

Then I go home to be the mom. Again I love my kids and I love being mom but….

I saw this Lifetime movie once, Fifteen and Pregnant, Park Overall’s character says “Babies take more than they give.”

Ahem, sista! This doesn’t just stop with babies either. And while the balance does start to shift slightly closer to being even the older they get, it is still way off balance….

Like, for example, K will make me a hot cup of tea sometimes. But I also run her little social butterfly self everywhere. To school for this or that activity. To church (sometimes). To a friend’s house. To a party. Whatever it is.

H helps me by taking the garbage out and carrying the laundry for me.

And L is just… well comic relief at this point.

They all help with feeding the dog and cats (but there is a lot of whining). They have chores (again much whining).

But what do I do? All the “grown-up” responsibility stuff (bills, laundry, scrub the toilet) and hey let’s not forget who “grew” them for 9 mths. (Okay maybe that doesn’t count…. )

But I do have to admit the thing I like about having older kids is that I can have actual conversations with them. In the store the other day, K and I were discussing the election (she will be old enough to vote in the next Presidential election…. How scary and exciting is that!) She was saying, “People shouldn’t just vote for a person because they are a woman or African American or whatever. They should be listening to what they have to say and doing research on them.” And yes folks she has an opinion on who she would vote for this year and she has done the research and is still doing that research, watching, listening and discussing.

I also encourage my kids to question things like beliefs and politics and whatnot. I have heard so many people praise their children for believing exactly what the parents believe…. Not because the child came to that opinion on their own but because the parents believe that. I mean that is okay for them and I am not really criticizing but I am saying for me, I want them to challenge my beliefs on things. I don’t go to church but K does and H had on occasion. I have my own set of beliefs that don’t match any church I have been to. But that isn’t the point, it took me years of research and going to church after church to come to this conclusion for myself. I talk very freely with them about religion and don’t try to sway them one way or the other. If they have a question about something, I have an answer or get them one. Politics the same. I have no intention of saying they have to believe the same as me. If they do, I want to know why. If they can say anything other than “Because you do.” Then awesome. I feel I then did my job.

Again, not downing others…. It works for you. I give my kids soda and you probably don’t believe in that. Everyone is different and I love that. Oh and for the record I am not trying to raise people that listen to just one resource or believe everything the media says. I have taught them to get as many points of views as possible. They have seen first hand how the media will overplay something for ratings or edit something to look worse than it is.

Back on point, I enjoy my kids and enjoy the people they are turning into, but it is true they take more than they give. I am exhausted by my dual roles as mom and fulltime worker but it has its rewards.

So while most night’s dinner is waiting for me…. (Pause for dramatic effect) to cook it. There are some rare nights that it is waiting for me to just eat it. And those nights are the ones to cherish the most because some day the kids will be gone and I will go home and eat a bowl of cereal or oatmeal or a sandwich because there will be no one to cook for but myself (unless, hmm…. Well??….the future is a question mark after all).


Margaret said...

I LOVE that movie ... Yes, Iknow, am completely missing the point of this whole post.

I can't help it, my brain still is functioning at 23% capacity.

And it's 4:18am and I am wide awake. That doesn't help, at all.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for raising THINKING children!!

Oh, and I've got two words for you: Crock Pot. Or maybe that's just one compound word. Either way, it takes like 10 min. preparation in the morning (or better yet, the night before). Plug it in, then when you come home at night it really does seem like someone else made dinner for you. We use ours a lot.

lisaschaos said...

We are similar parents. :) That's the big thing I've done with my kids, encouraging them to think for themselves and they do not have to be just like me. I love that you are the same. :) And after exploring several different faiths I came to the same conclusion as you.

margaret (the misanthrope) said...

Erica, I work full-time and care for 4 pets (with my husband's help) and I am exhausted most of the time. I have no idea how single moms and dads (with kids and pets etc.) do it. And bravo to you for raising thinking kids, as Lisamm said!

You mentioned the chore-related whining...I plead guilty to having done that a lot as a kid. My parents used the logic that in the real world, each person has a job to do, and they get "paid" (in one way or another) for that work. So, school and chores were my "job" and I had to do my job in order to "earn" my allowance. It didn't always cut down on the whining, but I did see the logic and it was good preparation for adulthood, I thought. I'm not trying to be opinionated, just passing on the thought. I admire you tremendously and think you are doing an amazing job.

And I'm still working on a cancer awareness post for October...I'll post a comment here when I have it.

belinda said...

"There are some rare nights that it is waiting for me to just eat it."
Where can I get one of these?

margaret (the misanthrope) said...

Hey Erica! Sorry for the off-topic comment, but I finally posted my Breast Cancer Awareness Month post. Just wanted to let you know :-)