Saturday, May 03, 2008

"I have bad words stuck in my head"

These are the words my 5 year old said to me through tears after he heard me fighting with his father over the phone. Broke my heart I tell you. and hmmm, yeah I did say bad words. Hey I used to be a sailor, what can I say?

They haven't heard me fight with their father in a long time. We used to do it all the time when we were married. (something I hated but he would actually drag them into it)

I am not saying it is right that I fought with him in front of them (over the phone) but it happened and it was things that had to be said, for them and for me. He never takes what I say seriously. It is, again, issues of visitation. I realize he lives in Dallas and I live in Houston. I get that but for the record we were living here before he moved FROM HERE TO THERE! So who made the choice?

I told him things that I tell him all the time but I just keep hoping that if I say it enough or in different ways, that something will click and he will get it.

At any rate, I am not going to feel bad for what I said, just that I said it in front of the kids. L keeps reminding me that I said those words and that they are stuck in his head (then he announces they are gone, for now).

I am sure that won't be the last fight they overhear but I do try and will continue to try to keep it between he and I.


Margaret said...

i don't know how you can avoid fighting with the ex and the NOT hear it.

Doesn't make it easier, I know.

goofball said...

you want me to throw a few f-bombs around the next time I see them. Kinda get them used to it, numbed you might say.