Saturday, May 10, 2008

Wishing the time away....

I hate when I do this. I guess in someways it is a human thing to do. Like we sometimes might say, "I can't wait until Christmas" or "I can't wait until my kids walk, talk, go to school.... " whatever.

But, time just flies. I had babies and then blinked and have teens. My baby is going to be in 1st grade next year and will not be going to day care anymore. And really life is short, we aren't guaranteed tomorrow so I do really try to enjoy today and most days I would say I do. I get to have special conversations, hugs and kisses. Snuggles on a Sunday morning, or in the evening when they had a bad day (or I did). I was just being stalked by a "ninja".... A rather cute ninja. I played a game of Yahtzee with my oldest son earlier and my daughter and I have been able to form a great relationship that I never had with my own mother.

However, I can't help but "wish" for the summer to be here, for them to be with their dad. I really need a break. This just wears on me. I get so tired between my breaks. If you have been a long time reader, you know he sees them only a few times a year, then the long summer visit.

And, I know I am not the only one that has my child(ren) alone most, or all the time. It is tough on this parent but also rewarding because we get the most time and memories with the kiddos. We know we are doing what is best for our child(ren). I love mine very much.

I know that once they are gone, I will miss them very much and be lost without them. I will not know what to do with myself in the evenings because I am so used to having the children to take care of. But, that's okay. I do need to recharge and I will have the puppy and cats to take care of still.

I just hate that I am wishing the time away... but again, I think it is normal. I think anyone would forgive me this one wish because they know that I do truly love my children and that I do try to do my best for them..... even if somedays I fall short.

Just about 3 weeks or so to go..... and then it is mom's time....


shuttle mom said...

(I'll come back to catch up on reading later.)
Just wanted to wish you a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Karen said...

I often long for time alone then when I get it I'm lost too! I think it's good for you to have a break and I think it's good for the kids too.