Monday, September 01, 2008

Blog Trip - Day 1 - Welcome! This is me!



Today is day one of the blog trip. I hope you are here for it, or join in!! Day one is kind of an intro to who I am and what I am here for or really any thing I want to share about myself. Me, I think I will share my story.... I think I am also suppose to talk about my town but I am sorry, this is all about me!

Soooo me! 35 and a half (remember when the half used to be so important?).... I am a single mom to three lovely wonderful monsters that I love so much! K is 14 and just started high school.... 9th grade! H is 12 and is in 7th grade this year. L is my youngest at 6 yrs old (yes he has the same father as the older two... nature is a funny thing).... He is starting 1st grade.

We live just south of Houston, TX and have for 3 yrs. I am from here, joined the Navy, had my first two in Florida, moved to Virginia, move back to Texas and then to North Dakota and now back here. Shwooo, that is exhausting just thinking about.... 8 total places we lived in between all those states and that is counting from our first move from FL to VA in 1996 to our last move in 2005 from ND to TX. I hate moving but I am good at it.

I have been divorced for 2 yrs, separated for 3... Was married in total just short of 13 yrs. We both would tell you that it went on far longer than it should have. For me, I had my moment in 1998 but people tell you things like:
Marriage is hard. It takes work. Never give up. Keep trying. Everyone goes through phases like this.
But when is it okay to give up? Say I have tried enough, we just aren't good for each other. We do not make each other happy, etc? It was when I actually felt this way that I was able to say enough is enough. A good friend of mine (one of my PIMs) asked me something like, "If you are so unhappy, why do you stay?" or something like that.... I am not good with the word for word. It was then I said, "Enough." We were living in Fargo, ND at the time.

His story is I left for vacation and never came back. He says I called and just told him I wasn't coming back.... or something like that.

My story is that I was coming home for vacation AND to look for a job, if I found one, I wasn't coming home and we would all move back here.

The truth is somewhere in between that.... (three sides to every story afterall)

But he DID know I wasn't planning to come back when he said good bye the morning I hopped in the car with the three kids and as much as I could pack into it.

Then he moved here a few weeks after we moved in to this house. The plan was for him to find another place to live. 2 mths later, he was still here but hadn't unpacked. So one night I asked him, "Are you going to unpack here or move out like we planned?" He moved out.... Good boy.

The rest of the story goes really quickly.... He lived here, as in Houston, for another 7 mths. He then moved to Dallas/Ft. Worth area. He started dating someone as was I, he moved in with her and then almost immediately broke up.... He then meet a new girl and is now married to her.

I have been seeing the same guy for a very enjoyable 2-ish yrs.... Not sure where it is going and most of the time I don't care.... because I just enjoy him. Some of my best days are with him. I can't imagine life now without him. He is great and I am crazy about that man.

Well this is me. Single mom finding herself....

26 comments:

Charlene said...

What a good story! I remember being on that yahoo board with you and this whole thing was going on. It was so hard for me to believe at the time that you felt you weren't happy. I think I live in the world of if you're not happy stick it out, it could get better. So for me to see you going through all that I was, I think, just surprised at how strong you were you know? Does this make sense?

Anyway, I'm proud of you for having the courage to stand up and say you weren't happy and to move on with your life. I hope you get the best out of life!

I'm doing this too (but it'll take me a few minutes or hours to blog about it).

Margaret said...

I envy you for putting so much work into your blog. You rcok.

I cannot find that much to say about me at all.

Blah blah, getting fat, blah blah, baby move, blah blah, can't think of a name, blah blah, in-laws/parents blah.blah.blah.

Hugs and keep it up (I suck at commenting lately)

trappedintime said...

At least you don't have the regret of what could have been. You can look anyone in the eye and say you made an honest try at it.
I think the regret of staying too long is much easier to handle.

rmgales said...

Wow what an introduction, lol. I love your story. I'm visiting from Blog Trip. I've never been to Houston, but I've visited the Dallas, TX area. I have to subscribe to your blog after reading your opener. Please stop by.

Sherry Martschink said...

SO interesting! I'm also an "ex" -- which is why my blog is named "EX Marks the Spot." Divorce can be -- and usually is -- VERY hard on children but sometimes they understand that things are actually better with two happy parents who are not together than two unhappy parents who ARE together! Good luck!

CynthiaK said...

Wow, what a story. Good luck as you embark on this next phase of your life. It will be amazing and you should never look back. Just enjoy your three sweethearts and the adventure of living each day to the fullest.

Glad I found you on the Blog Trip!

http://crumbsintheminivan.blogspot.com

Joan said...

Howdy, cruising on thru. Looks like you have had an adventure outside the blog trip =)

Best of luck to you and your kiddo's - and with the man that makes you happy *smiles*

-Joan

Jessica said...

Great story. Sounds like you are in a much happier place now. Came over for the blog trip/

lisaschaos said...

Hey, I love this little update to who you are. :) I feel I learned more about you. :)

Mommy Meryl said...

Hi - thanks for stopping by my blog - I loved your intro! It wonderful getting to know people. . .you sound like you are in a really good place right now!

Angela Moore said...

What a great story! So glad you are finding yourself and I'm proud of you for figuring out the best thing to do for you and your whole family. Nice to meet you on this trip!

Brandy said...

What an amazing story. I know it's hard to hear the "marriage is hard work and everyone goes through those phase" Being only married for almost 4 years, together for 5 on sunday, I've heard it as well. I know I tried a handful of times, whether he agrees with that statement or not is his own problem. But I agree, one day you just realize that this is enough and you can't live like this. I really enjoyed looking around your blog and will definitely be a regular visitor.

Linda S said...

Boy, I know it's hard...I've been divorced for about 2 years and am happier than before, but it's so hard at the same time. I'm so glad I found blogging as a form of expression and enjoy this more than anything in a long time...yay us!

please stop by!

Ginny said...

Glad you are with someone that makes you happy, that is important!

You must get that a lot about your youngest being the same dad, probably annoying, lol.

Stacey Moore said...

So nice to met you! Enjoy your trip and thanks for stopping by!!

Steffie said...

First, thank you for stopping by. And what a refreshingly different story! Very nice change of pace from the "My town is. I have this many kids"

I too am a peusdo-single mom. I say peusdo because I live with my boyfriend, and he is essentially my son's father, if not by blood. So I really can't wear the single mother badge. Thank you for sharing with us, and I'll be stopping by soon!

Steffie

Wena said...

Thanks for sharing your story...

and for the quick stop at my blog...

God Bless you and your kids!

Mars said...

Im a single mom too but I have already found myself. I hope you will too, SOON!
Im here for a blog trip!

Diva Ma said...

Wow, what a mouthful! Yes, only you know when it's time to say Enough! Glad to have met you on this Blog Trip!

Brandy said...

Hi, I am here on the blog trip. Thanks for stopping by my blog. That is a great story, and I am glad you are finding your happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy.

Eves Momma said...

That's a great story. There is a time when you just have to say enough. I found that time 3 years ago shortly after my daughter was born. Thanks for visiting my blog trip. Hope to talk to you again!

Felicia Eis said...

Thank you for coming to visit me :) I enjoyed reading your blog.

I will be back ;)

Gin said...

Thanks for dropping by my site. Love the intro...and WOW for a great story. It's nice to know that you're in happier relationship now. :)

Penelope said...

Great post! I've also been divorced for two years. I had a lot of regrets at first, but I am happy with it now. I love that you are just enjoying life and living it up! I enjoyed reading about you and will be back to read more!

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

great to meet you!
Thanks for visiting me!

Jessie said...

Wow! what a story! Thanks for the great intro and also for stopping by my blog and hope you can visit Brooklyn soon!