Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Children and Body Image

So I talked to the ex today to see how the kids were doing. I didn't get to talk to them but will try to talk to them later. Anyway he was telling me all the things they are doing/not doing.

Like their "new" eating habits and the fact that they are all having to weigh in every Sunday morning. He measured and weighed them, and had them set weight lose goals. K is (almost) 13 years old, 5'5" and weighs @140 lbs. H is 11, 4' 11" and weighs @130 lbs. L is (almost) 5 and is 3'10" weighing in around 45 lbs. Okay not terrible but the two older ones are a bit on the heavy side, more H than K though.

Now this isn't a big deal, really BUT given his history with me and them, I am sooo worried about my children. Will they get an eating disorder? Will they always worry about their body and have a poor body image of themselves? They are all already on their way to it.

K always skips meals. H overeats after he talks to his dad on the phone. and L is only 5 and is always talking about being fat (which he is NOT).

Don't get me wrong some of the things he has done and is doing are great! He is talking to them about "choices" and not allowing them to eat a bunch of junk. He also tries to keep them active.

Things I do as well but I am at fault for their weight problems in the first place! I have a million excuses and reasons for doing this but a lot of times we eat out. There really is no good excuse and I started taking a lot of steps in the right direction with this.

I started making weekly menus and sticking to them. I also discussed with them good choices versus bad, portion sizes and talked to K about not skipping meals.

When they get back from their dad's I had planned to start us all in counseling, both separately and together, or really whatever seems to make sense. I am hoping this will help us all feel better about ourselves as well as help H with his emotional eating.

So anyway, I didn't say anything to him about my worry. I feel like he is only doing some harm but not all. Not to mention, I just feel like its not my business anymore how he interacts with them.


lincldad said...

In my limited experiences, the quickest way to get on a 13 yo girl's bad side is mess with her about her weight.

guygm said...

P.S. I linked you to my blog!

guygm said...

Oh Dr. Sexy you broke my heart....

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

That is a really tough one and I have no idea what the answer is. Bug hugs.

The Exception said...

This is difficult. Kids are exposed, at least here, to diets and being "fat" at such an early age. I am fortunate in that my school district is very involved with teaching and promoting healthy eating as was her previous school. Additionally, the Diva loves to move - so getting her out and exercising is not an issue. I wish you all the best of luck!