Over at Guy Gets Married, he has been talking about love a lot, well and light sabers! We all need one of those. (Oh and I need to give him a big ole thank you for the searches! My $$ jumped a bit.... Everyone click the ads and use the Google search on the sidebar, please?!)
He is 35 and said that a recent girlfriend was the first time he thinks he was in love. I commented that I don't even know if I was in love with my now-ex-husband. Oh I loved him but to be "in love".... what is that? I am 34 and have I been in love? Yes maybe. I think I was with JJ my ex from high school. However, I don't think it was a fully mature love or grown up love? Not sure what I mean..... We were kids. Only 17 years old! We dated for about a year exclusively and then off and on for another year. I feel very different about him today. I love him to pieces! But, he is just an amazing friend.
Then there is M, my ex-h. Like I said, I don't think I was in love with him. I think I was in love with the idea of husband and wife and couple and a family. While I learned to love him, I just don't think I was in love with him and yes there is a huge difference.
Then there was J. He was several years ago when the ex and I had separated the first time.... with every intention of getting a divorce (but as history shows we didn't until years later)..... Anyway, I thought I was in love with him too. I honestly don't think I was. Again, I think it was the idea of someone new. We had great conversations and great sex, but that was about it.
These aren't the only guys I have dated/been with, but they are the ones that if I was in love.... these would be the 3.
Am I ready for that again? I don't know. I know that if there is a new husband in my future. I will only do it if I am in love. Not just the idea of it. How will I know the difference? I don't know. I just think I will know when the time comes. I feel like I was lost before. I now feel like I know who I am, what I want and I know I have a lot to give.
So anyway, to GuyGM..... there ya go babe. Do it for love, nothing else. And make sure it is not just the "idea" of it.