Friday, June 15, 2007

In Love?

Over at Guy Gets Married, he has been talking about love a lot, well and light sabers! We all need one of those. (Oh and I need to give him a big ole thank you for the searches! My $$ jumped a bit.... Everyone click the ads and use the Google search on the sidebar, please?!)


He is 35 and said that a recent girlfriend was the first time he thinks he was in love. I commented that I don't even know if I was in love with my now-ex-husband. Oh I loved him but to be "in love".... what is that? I am 34 and have I been in love? Yes maybe. I think I was with JJ my ex from high school. However, I don't think it was a fully mature love or grown up love? Not sure what I mean..... We were kids. Only 17 years old! We dated for about a year exclusively and then off and on for another year. I feel very different about him today. I love him to pieces! But, he is just an amazing friend.

Then there is M, my ex-h. Like I said, I don't think I was in love with him. I think I was in love with the idea of husband and wife and couple and a family. While I learned to love him, I just don't think I was in love with him and yes there is a huge difference.

Then there was J. He was several years ago when the ex and I had separated the first time.... with every intention of getting a divorce (but as history shows we didn't until years later)..... Anyway, I thought I was in love with him too. I honestly don't think I was. Again, I think it was the idea of someone new. We had great conversations and great sex, but that was about it.

These aren't the only guys I have dated/been with, but they are the ones that if I was in love.... these would be the 3.

Am I ready for that again? I don't know. I know that if there is a new husband in my future. I will only do it if I am in love. Not just the idea of it. How will I know the difference? I don't know. I just think I will know when the time comes. I feel like I was lost before. I now feel like I know who I am, what I want and I know I have a lot to give.

So anyway, to GuyGM..... there ya go babe. Do it for love, nothing else. And make sure it is not just the "idea" of it.



Esmerelda said...

I KNOW I was totally and completely and utterly in love. The world was brighter, I walked on air, and his shit was ice cream.

I don't know that I'll be lucky enough to feel that again, nor do I know that I'd ever be able to give myself over so totally and risk my heart again.

guygm said...

Hi TxGambit!

That was an awesome post! Thank you! Made my day! And it is interesting how hearing others perspectives on the same subject helps you shape your own analysis. In response to your post I'll provide what honestly is going on in my head:

1) I know waiting for love is the right thing... But I do feel a stopwatch ticking...
2) I hope you do find someone to love again...
3) Your post is food for thought... I think you may be correct on the other hand I just want to move on with life ... Hmmm.....
4) I think in my situation that women tend to be a little more emotionally mature than men. So me just finding a woman that is compatible persay and not necessarily the ONE is still OK because if you have two kind, compatible, mature people that is also a recipe for long-term success...