Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Not surprising

The ex and his girl broke up. Well he says they are still friends but he has moved back into his apartment. I am not surprised by this at all. He had text messaged me last week just as I was heading to the airport. I knew something was up. Well he just called me at work and we talked for a while, almost an hour. About my trip, work, his work, the kids, the kids' schedule for the summer, this coming weekend and he also told me that he was back in his apartment. She wanted more than he wanted to give.

I guess that he wasn't completely on board with the whole getting married thing, from what he says. He just wanted to move in with her to have a little more financial security. Uh-Huh.... Right. But, that's his story and he is sticking to it. Actually, just knowing him like I do, I am sure that is part of it, a huge part of it but not all.

Here is my predication though..... They will get back together at least one more time if not start a whole cycle of this break up/get back together thing. This is the second time so far that it has happened. I fully expect them to marry someday too.

For my children's sake, I hope I'm wrong. I hope that he can actually meet someone that better fits him and he actually falls in love with her. The reason I don't like this girl is she just seems too immature and I want my children's stepmom to be a support in raising them.

Same if they ever have a stepdad. They don't need a dad or a mom. They have one of each but the person I pick for myself had better know that he is my partner and is partnered in guiding my children in the same ways a teacher would be.

And, to all you single moms out there, like my ex's "friend", do not rush into a relationship because you think you need a man in your life. Men are great! I like the one I see but I'm not rushing anything.... But, I am a strong person. I know I was complaining about needing help in my blog recently. Yes, I totally do! But, it is more of a "nice-to-have", not a must because I can do these things. I have been doing them for a while now. And the few things I can't do, I can ask for help

Oh and on that note, it reminds me of a conversation with K lately. She and my niece were comparing things. (S's dad is my brother, the one in Iraq) S said, "My dad taught me to tie my shoes." K said, "My mom taught me" S said, "My dad taught me to ride my bike." K said, "My mom taught me".... and on the conversation went. Then K said, "I can't think of much that my dad taught me." I said, "There were things but he worked a lot and wasn't home a lot. It was mostly me." She said she remembers that and she said thanks.

H usually credits his dad for things but really a lot of it was me or when it was his dad, it was me saying, "You need to play with him." Sad but true.

Most of L's memories are going to be of us separated/divorced because I left his dad when he had just turned 3. He is almost 5 now.

Back to my message to women, single women.....

Be strong women. Be strong for yourself. Be strong for your kids. If you can do those things, then men will be a nice to have and you can enjoy them a whole lot more.


Esmerelda said...

ick. I'm pretty sure there isn't anyone whose shit I want to put up with, and still be the person who wants to put up with my shit.

I swear. The further I get into this whole not dating thing, the more it turns my stomach to think about getting involved. Ick.

Mama Drama Jenny said...

Amen, sister. It takes a strong woman to do it all herself.