Plain and simple.
Short story: I do not have the dogs anymore.
Long story: I knew that I couldn't keep them. I just do not have the energy, the time or the money it would take to care for them. I had to make (or pick) a decision (whatever!). It was hard. I got the pups loaded up in the car. They were so good on the way there. No whining, no barking, no jumping around. I'm sure they were scared to be in the car but the trusted me. (whah!). I got to the SPCA. Got them out, walked in.... All three of us had racing hearts. Mine was beating so hard, I started to have ringing in my ears. I wanted to run out with them but too late I was committed. The lady took the first one..... I wanted to shout, "noooo he is mine!" but I let her. She came back for the second..... and then it was over. Thank Gawd I still had my sunglasses on. I was crying a little bit.
When it is a better time in my life, I will get a dog. I will be ready for that commitment. I know it isn't easy to care for a dog.... It is a mostly give relationship. Yes there is the companionship but come on, it can't do the dishes, mow the lawn or paint my toe nails..... so really, its me caring completely for it.
And, as I mentioned here..... I have had to give up a lot of pets. I just thought the next time I had a dog(s), I wouldn't have to give them up. These are not ones that I decided to get, they got me. But still....
The decision was to listen to my heart (keep them) or my head (give them up)....So if I made a decision or I just picked the smarter of the two, it doesn't matter because the point is I had to do the grown-up thing and that just plain sucks!