What I miss the most

Pillow talk. You know the moments just before falling asleep or even the first moments in the morning, when you can just share some moments with your partner. Intimate moments of whispers in the dark, soft touches and gentle kisses. Great conversations with or without words, because sometimes there is no need for words as touches can do the same.

This makes my nights feel long. I often take forever to get to sleep. I stare endlessly at the other side of the bed. I try to spread out more to take up some of the empty space. I flip to my other side so I can't see the emptiness to my right.

Then I do fall asleep only to wake later upset and shaken by a dream. I desperately look for comfort but find the bed is still empty, as I knew it would be but in my frightened and confused state between reality and dream, I still hope to find someone there to comfort me. To put a strong, loving arm around me and pull me close, whisper that it was just a dream and that I was safe. I could then drift back to sleep.

Only that isn't what I get. Instead I toss and turn for another 30 minutes or so. I may get up and check the locks, just once more. Stumble to the bathroom and then to the kitchen.... maybe some cool water.

Then morning comes. I always linger in bed a little too long. I really crave that special morning time, sometimes more than the lonely nights. The good morning hellos, special kisses and maybe a wish for a good day.

This thing I miss, this pillow talk and intimate sharing, it will be in my future, I know it will but it is years away. I can wait.... I can but it still makes the night's long and the mornings not so cheery.

In the meantime, I look forward to good night wishes and good morning hellos via electronic form.

And there are always the kids.... we do share some special moments, snuggled in bed and I do truly enjoy those too because someday I will be writing how I miss those moments too.