Friday, January 26, 2007

Holding it together

Who I am: Single mom who of course works and then I do go to school, and I have three kids. The ex lives over 4 hours away. I do get help sometimes from my family but I don't ask as much as maybe I should......

I belong to a group of mom's who are just the most amazing people I know! They have been nothing but supportive, understanding and just some of the best friends a girl could ask for. I have known them 5 years now. Catch is they are all online and while I have meet a good number of them in person, there are still those I just haven't. Why is this important? Well I'll tell ya.....

Recently I posted a message on our group's board about being in my last classs. I am so close! Someone replied with a statement.... "I just don't know how you have held it together." (meaning for 4 yrs, two cross countries moves, going through and getting the divorce and being a single mom.... all while going to school).

My reply was, "I hold it together with Superman band-aids."

But, it really got me thinking. I didn't think I did anything amazing or for people to respond the way they did. So much praise and "you are amazing." Am I??

I actually held it together very poorly. I almost quit so many times. I almost quit my whole life more times than I really would like to admit. But, I'm not a quitter. I don't give up easily if ever. I can admit defeat, I guess.... but it depends the battle.... So anyway, I just do what I do because I have to. It is my job. I made a commentment to my children the day I first knew they were coming (Nov 7, 1993, June 3 1995, Nov 4, 2001), that I would always do the very best I could for them. I would never give up. I would do everything I could for them if it meant putting me second. They are the only ones in the world (aside from my parents and brothers) that I would put first over me.

So how do I really hold it together? By looking at them and knowing I have no choice because they are counting on me.


Tree said...

E, you just gave me chills. You are right - you do it because you have to. No second thoughts, no stopping and thinking about it.

And you are AMAZING, girlfriend.

TxGambit said...

Thanks T! That means a lot. Love ya girl.

Esmerelda said...

Feels awkward when you year that, doesn't it? I mean it isn't like you're living in a 3rd world country without arms. Then again, some days when you're sure you don't even have the energy to quit--3rd world countries look cozy. You don't quit, you figure it out.

Head down, nose to the grindstone, getting the job done. YOU GO GIRL!

TxGambit said...

Eye on the prize, eye on the prize!