Thursday, May 31, 2007

Emotional Meltdown

My day went down like this:

My work day was long. I put out more fires than actually checking things off the to-do list. Plus my motivation took a vacation or something because I couldn't focus. Not to mention my stress over money. I worked late. Called to check on my mom because she had surgery almost 2 weeks ago. Well she asked about the rent. Would I be paying for June since I didn't pay for May.... then she continues on by lecturing me on where I can cut my expenses. Yikes! I know, I know....

Then came home to a trashed out house and wild children. H and L were just running around like crazy. Screaming and jumping around. As an introvert, I get over-stimulated easily! Well then H and L started attacking K. She screams and runs. My house is maybe 1,000 sq ft. So there is no escaping.

Well L starts climbing around and breaks a glass candle holder. Are you kidding me?! Glass everywhere. Yikes!

Then more running. Then L pees his pants. My stress level just kept rising and rising until.... My toilet broke. What? No that has nothing to do with anything except that is when I had my meltdown. I could not fix it. I knew I could if I had the parts but I just couldn't function because of the stress. I tried to super-glue the part just to get by until I could get to Home Depot or Lowe's. Well that didn't work.... well ummm, I really knew that was going to happen, but it was worth a try. Like I said I'm an introvert so with my stress level so high and my anxiety on the edge of tipping.... I could not even think about what part I would need if I went to the store.

I called my dad, very calmly.... Until he answered. I lost it! I don't know what it was but I had reached my limit. My dad calmed me a little bit and said he would be over. But, he also said something that has me still a bit upset. He said that I need to be more self-reliant. Well, yeah! But, I'm trying just today I had it. I just couldn't deal anymore.

I hung up and just cried and cried. Then got myself together so I could clean my house!

Dad came. Calmly checked out the problem. Got the broked part, ran up to Home Depot. Came back.... hugged me this time.... and then fixed my toilet. Wonderful!

I'm still a bit on edge but hoping a night of sleep will work.


The Exception said...

I have so been here. Hang in there. People on the outside don't know how difficult/challenging it can be. You truly are doing all you can.

Esmerelda said...

Oh, honey.


You ARE self reliant. You are HUMAN. Gawd. Parents suck some times.
more {hugs}