Thursday, May 03, 2007

Role Models - Part One

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. With their dad living in Dallas and us in Houston, the 4+ hour drive is a huge distance. With the potential for him to be moving yet AGAIN! I was talking to him today and he said that there was a manager position opening in both Minnepolis and .... well I don't remember the other, Omaha, maybe? All I know is he is going to at least apply and the last time he applied he was the second choice but of course that doesn't mean much. If you're not first, you're last. Right Ricky Bobby?

So since July of last year, he has seen the kids for Labor day, Mid-October, Mid-November, Christmas, Mid-February, March for a week of Spring Break and then April 20-22th when I went to Dallas. This is actually just about every month... but 7 times in 10 months.... Well wow, that's not a lot when your kids are still young and need you, right?

My kids do have role models. My dad, Uncle J, a few of my male cousins who are like brothers and then of course there are my brothers. Though neither of them are here now, they are great role models. My bro, B, is in Iraq. My other bro, J, is in Colorado. Both have kids and both are great dads. I have some friends that could be great role models too. Not just the guy(s) in the relationship but the gal too. My friends B and S are an amazing couple. I don't get to hang out with them much at all but would love to and I think it would be great to be around them with the kids. They are great parents and I truly admire their relationship with each other too. A good couple role model if you will.

See my kids didn't have the best role model of what a relationship should be. We went back and forth about staying together, getting a divorce.... and back and forth and back and forth. At some point you just don't recover from that. Not just that but we didn't fight well. We never seemed to solve anything or at least be able to move on. And, when I say we, I mean him. Yeah, yeah.... its usually the woman but he was the worst grudge holder and would bring stuff back up after I thought it was dead. Well after so many of these fights, I started doing it. I hated this! But, at least I was now fighting on his level. I know, I know two wrongs don't make a right.... but it still felt good.

Sorry, back on track.

Going forward, I will make sure the people I introduce to my children are people I think are good role models. Now when I say that, it is in my eyes they are a good role model and I am pretty critical. I am the judge and jury on who is around my children. This goes for both male and female role models.

My children are my life right now and I want to make sure they are safe and secure, and that they know what a relationship looks like and what not to take in one. You should be happy, period. Not just settle.

Next time: Female Role Models and me.