Tuesday, May 22, 2007

One Year Blogiversary!

One year ago my life sucked hard. I was at the end of my rope or so I thought. One day I looked down and realized I could just about touch ground, so I let go. I let go of my hurt, my anger, my feelings of failure. The hate that I had for my ex for hurting me and the kids. The hurt I had brought myself for the wrongs I did in the marriage. I was unemployed, alone. We had just officially filed for divorce too. Like I said, the end of my rope, but I let go of that rope. Took some risks and my feet touched the ground. Then I just started off on a new path. I shouted "Do Over!" and started my journey.

I never liked to climb rope anyway and much prefer to be on my feet for the journey ahead.

Once I let go, I found a job, found some new friends (one really special one) and really found myself. I have used this blog to document that journey and have grown a lot. It is my own personal dumping ground and place of sharing, sorting and growing. I see other blogs that are used for more entertainment purposes or to share with family and friends their life's. And while mine is not the best written nor the most visited, it suits me well. It is me! What you see is what you get kinda place.

I'm still amazed at the changes in my life this past year. Its just amazing. There are still things to do, places to go and people to see. While I'm not still in that "take risks" place like I was, I'm still very confident and comfortable with who I am now. A year ago, I was lost. My ex really stole my identity or maybe I just gave it up for him because that is what I thought he wanted but not really. See I think he lost himself in our marriage too. I think that is why I had to leave him in 2005. I knew we were both lost, together. He liked climbing rope and I liked walking. Our journey together had to come to an end. As sad as I was to realize that, I was happy too.

And while I'm not still searching for myself, I still have this journey to enjoy. I still have kids to raise, Goofball to get to know better and friends to stay connected too. I still need a place to dump my brain.

Life from here looks good and I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for me! Oh and just so you know, I'm not so naive to think that everything is always wonderful and happy, but GAWD! I really feel free like never before.... and that can just make anything look pretty darn good.

8 comments:

Builder Mama said...

Happy Blogiversary!

I am proud of you for how far you've come in the last year!

TxGambit said...

Thanks Builder Mama,

You have seen most of it in the last 5 years, huh? I'm sooo much happier.

Thanks for listening to me over the years!

trappedintime said...

Happy Blogiversary! I hope I get to read a whole lot more.

BeautifulDisaster said...

honey you ROCK!!!! I am so proud for you. You have found yourself and your strength! I wish I'd been as far along as you seem to be at this stage. My divorce was final almost two years ago and I can also see thru my blog how much I've grown.

g-man said...

Congrats. Keep 'em on the ground and keep on truckin' :)

Gretchen said...

Congrats!

You've come a long way, baby!

TxGambit said...

Thanks y'all!!!

Trapped, Yes sir!

Beautiful Disaster, my marriage was over long before we even filed for divorce. I had a lot of time to get over it. Almost 8 years.

G-man, Now I'm going to be saying, keep on truckin'. Love it.

G, Thanks! Like Builder Mama, you have heard it all in the last 5 years.... I'm so much happier! :)

Esmerelda said...

You are indeed my example most days. I feel like I'm still walking through fire, and balancing on broken glass. 129 days 'till I can actually file for divorce.