Scars

I love this song by Papa Roach. It really describes my current feelings on my ex.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And my scars remind me that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

This is the part I am mostly talking about. I will open myself to him sometimes because I care too much. Just in general. And, each time I do, I get hurt and I have to sew myself shut against him again.

Then this part.....

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

I have tried so many times to help him (mostly while we were still married, now not so much.) I still give him a bit of advise now and listen to him when he needs to talk. I know I will always have some type of relationship with him and I think that's why I try to care. Compassions in my nature but I can't always help him, I can't always be there to listen. I feel like I'm done with sympathy towards him.

And....

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I think that says it all. I gotta move on with my own life and I think I have pretty darn well without him if I do say so myself!!!! It is almost my Blogiversary and I will talk more about my progression from last year to this. Lots of growth in myself and I feel good!

Oh and I love Papa Roach!!!!