Monday, March 12, 2007

The ex is getting remarried

Not surprising but still a bit of a shock. I have been expecting this call for a while. He basically said that now that the kids have met her and her kids, it was time for them to get engaged. He did go on to say neither of them want to get married right now but in a few years. Yeah, right?

So how should one feel about this? I think what I feel is normal..... I am happy for him because she sounds like she really "gets him" and she has made some positive (yet weird to me) changes in him. But, on the other hand, this is someone I was with for 13 years and for him to move on so fast. Wow. Its a bit weird.

I still look to my Aunt A for the model of what a single mom should look like. I haven't talked about this yet but she is my idol! My hero in single motherhood. She took care of my cousin and waited until he was grown to find that special someone. Now I'm not saying I will wait that long but my kids come first, period. If I find someone and it just clicks and blah, blah, yadda, yadda.... well great but if not, I am willing to wait on the right time.

My point is I don't feel a rush or need to meet someone and get hitched just because he is. I'm a competitve soul but this is one thing I can deal with losing at. Why? because if I rush and it doesn't work then what do I have? Another divorce? Yep! Not doing that again. If (big if) I get remarried, I want it to be for love and nothing else. Not money, not a baby (like the first) or because I'm lonely.

It must be the right reason. Period.


Esmerelda said...

I think some guys just can't live without someone to take care of them. For them activity is healing. For us, I think it is different.

While I can imagine marrying again some day it is more a fantasy far off in the future thing...the thought of marrying someone now makes my stomach nervous.

Heck, dating anyone seriously now makes my head spin!

trappedintime said...

I guess it all depends on the level of commitment and the avenue to achieve it.

TxGambit said...


Honestly, I think part of his thing is financial. But, he was also one to rush things.


I had to think about your comment but I have to agree.

Mayberrys said...


g-man said...

Well so long as the kids are ok with the whole thing, it should be no problem. I know when my ex said she was going to get married it felt a little weird, not that she actually did cause she is a psycho... I digress. I can tell you though, when it is right it is great. :)

Tree said...

You know, E, I am not altogether surprised for some reason. But, I do think you will hold out for someone special - because you deserve it and I think you know you deserve it.