Just my life....

I feel like all I do is complain but really I am just processing, talking it out and/or telling the story of me. This is just my life. I hate to complain because I really do have a good life. I have great kids, a house, an awesome puppy and just on and on.... but my life is just a bit crazy and it wears on me.

I don't know if it is just being a single parent or if it is just the way I have run my life. I think not having a partner does contribute to some of my issues and some is just .... well just life.

I don't sleep well because of the kids and the puppy. Though they are all actually good, it is just the circumstance of having the two. The puppy sleeps pretty well at night and doesn't need to go out, but if one of the kids wakes up, then he thinks it is time to get up. Given my children's sleeping habits, there is almost always someone awake. K is a night owl so she typically goes to sleep after me. I don't really mind so much as long as she is quiet, doesn't bother me and wakes for me in the mornings. H is a morning bird. Getting up before most birds that is. He goes to bed early too. Again, as long as he is quiet. L is somewhere in between the two. I think because of his age, he still sleeps a lot. I think as he gets older, he will be a night owl too. It seems to be his thing. But with him, he stills wakes most nights because he has nightmares, hears a noise or whatever.

With this, there is almost always someone awake and even though the two older ones try to be quiet and not disturb me, but L is still too young and needs me at night sometimes. Therefore, I spend time settling him, settling the puppy and really no matter how quiet the other two are, my house is small and any noise wakes the puppy. Plus the only bathroom is connected to my bedroom, meaning if anyone goes to the bathroom at night, it wakes me and Cowboy.

Hopefully and most likely, once the house remodel is done (if it happens), it will make my nights sooooo much better.

With that said, my doctor seems concerned that I don't sleep well but like I told her yesterday, it is just my life right now. I realize I need to sleep more but at the moment life is what it is. I can complain about it or I can just deal and get sleep when I can.

It means that currently I walk around like a zombie and my house isn't as clean as I would like, I'm not as active as I would like and I just don't think I am as much fun!

But more than that, I feel like I am always running kids around, my life during the week feels so unorganized and my life just feels that way.

I haven't really cooked a dinner in so long, at least one that took any time or more than a few ingredients to make. It has to be simple or it is pizza or burgers delivered or drive-thru. It sucks and when my doctor asked about my appetite and interest in food, I was less than enthusiastic about it. Food just has lost much of its appeal. It is a shame because I think food should be something enjoyed, not just a need. I mean what a shame! Why waste calories on something that you don't want to eat or doesn't taste good to you? Life is too short to not enjoy it and there are too many good things to eat. With that said, balance, moderation for things that are just really bad for you and there are very healthy foods that are amazing to eat!

Soo anyway, my life is what it is and I wouldn't change much of it.... I just want some peace and rest in it. I want to get back to cooking for my kids. I want to feel organized and healthy.

Anyway, I am on a new med now. Was on Zoloft, now trying Cymbalta. This is to help with the aches and pains I feel daily. I think if I can get some of this pain under control some of the other will be a lot more bearable.

I love my kids. I love my dog. I love my life..... Also I really appreciate one special person in it. He makes me smile even when I don't feel like it. He makes me happy and feel important, even when the rest of my life doesn't. I just want to say thank you to him.... and he knows who he is.

And that is just my life. :)

*Catchy title here*

For the last several nights, I haven't been sleeping well again. That is fine, I am going to the doc on Friday. I am thinking a meds change is in order again.... I won't even tell you all the weird thoughts I have been having.... AGAIN. It is scary.

But, because I am not sleeping well, meaning waking several times a night, my brain is working at odd hours. So for the last two nights, I have in my mind written the best blog entries EVER! Seriously. I was thinking "Wow this will get some great discussions going. I will get lots of comments. People will link to me"..... Hmm what were the ideas, the words, topics.....???

I have no idea!

Normally, I would have written it down or even gotten on the computer and typed it up! But I fell back asleep before I could. I am so disappointed.

I keep wondering if it was a dream but it happened in that half awake/half asleep moment. You know when you are kind of floating, drifting but still aware of things around you and the brain is still working very clearly.

Soooo I am sorry if you came here thinking I had written this very profound, "aha" post that would just set the world on fire! Maybe tonight I will have the energy to write it down before it is lost forever.

****Oh and one last thought, do you ever just look back at your life and say "Wow!" In thinking back on the last couple of years, I am definitely thinking that.****

My totally weird weekend (and it isn't over yet)

It started on Friday. I got to see Goofball Friday night. I don't think I have EVER seen him on a Friday night. We have schedule issues so this was a great surprise! Wait, surprise? That might not be the right word there but ya know.... it was great! We had planned to go out but my kids were tooo hyper to be left. So we just hung out. K who usually does not like having him around too much said she had fun and she even said "...and I didn't think I would."

Why were the kids so hyper you might wonder? There dad came to visit this weekend.

K had a drama competition yesterday at her school. He and the girlfriend came down to watch. This worked out GREAT! Because I got to help out at the school which was awesome. I was a judge. The kids were so cute and some of them have some really talent at acting. I judged all day! K had events all day but I didn't get to see any of them but got to see her between events.

And you may be wondering about my ex and his girlfriend. Some funny things happened, like at one point he asked me, "What was that look for?" I said innocently, "What look? I'm not married to you any more.... I don't give you looks." His girlfriend who I think I love (ha, ha), started cracking up. She loved it. We have gotten to be really good friends thus far.

So then after the drama thing, somehow I ended up with an extra kid. One of K's friends was spend the night. I think they knew I was weak from lack of food and fatigue of the day.... Just kidding! I love this girl so I am glad to have her over.

Well the ex and his GF were going to take the kids out to dinner but we had one problem. They don't have a car big enough so I was asked along. So me, my three, K's friend, the ex and his GF enjoyed dinner ON HIM!!!! Ha, ha! Thanks.

But, before dinner we were hanging out here at my house. The GF and I were hanging out in my room talking about .... well everything. Then we started looking through old pics of the kids. Then after dinner she rode with me and the girls back to my house. We all sang the whole way. That was fun!

But, the best part of the whole thing was the look of worry on the ex's face as his GF and his ex-wife shared secrets, shared new inside jokes and shared a ride home. Priceless!!!!!

They are here now and I haven't gone out to say anything yet. I had a rough night. Poor Cowboy was in his crate longer than usual yesterday and had I any foresight at all, I would have asked my mom to come over just after lunch to let him out for a few mins or so. Anyway, he was NOT tired so he played with his toys, tried to play with me and paced a lot!

I guess I better get out there....

Must be nice

I am so angry tonight. My ex isn't able to watch the kids at the end of May for me so I can go on a business trip.

And, yeah before you say anything a father should NOT have to WATCH his own kids but basically that is what it boils down too.

I guess I am more disappointed. I really want to further my career. Being able to travel without worrying about the kids.

Now don't get me wrong I love my kids and I am so glad that I am with them everyday. I really wouldn't trade them for a better career (I have a pretty fab job actually).

I guess it is just a bit of the grass is greener or maybe I just thought once divorced we would have a "normal" custody schedule. I really guess I shouldn't have expected anything different from him. He was really not as involved a father as I thought one should be. He has his way and I guess in ways I just have to forgive that and just do the best for me and the kids. They see what I do daily and they know. The two older ones tell me.

But still.... Ya know?

Some of my worst fears

We all have things that we are afraid of. I think most of our worst fears are things we can't control them. I think that is why they are our worst fears.

Most of mine are pretty typical. Anything involving my kids being hurt, lost or just any thing I can't protect them from. Not being able to take care of them, feed them, etc.... Having them taken away is another.

Being trapped in an elevator. This just happened to a co-worker on Monday. Yikes! I need to start taking the stairs.

Being bit by a spider! Yes seriously.

Being attacked by a dog. Having one of my children attacked by a dog. Having my dog or one of my cats attacked by a dog. I am a huge dog person. Love them but some people shouldn't have dogs.

And my worst fear, the one that I was afraid would come true last night..... Dying. Well okay that is a bit dramatic but let me explain. I woke up choking on my own vomit. Gross huh!? So I spent most of the night puking my guts out. But what scared me the most was I kept getting really choked. It was like some was going into my lungs, why? I don't know. I almost called my parents to come over. If something did happen to me, I don't want the kids to be the ones to find me/handle calling for help. Ya know?

Today I stayed home from work. I had only planned to sleep a bit and then go into work but I slept until almost 1:00.... woke up still feeling queasy. Shaky. Crappy. and well a bit scared too.

This morning after I called work, I called my mom. I always call her when I am sick because like I said, I don't want the kids to have to deal with me if something happens. I know dramatic! But I am a planner too.

Soooo anyway, still feeling a bit queasy and icky but hoping that I just don't puke again. That is like hell for me!

What are your worst fears? Especially the silly ones.

Volunteering at school and some ex stuff

Once upon a time, I used to be an involved parent. I sent in things to class, to the teacher, volunteered to help at parties, field trips, etc.....

Those days are long gone or so I thought.

I have started trying to volunteer more at the schools. Well so far just K's school. But since it is working out well, I am hoping that soon I can start doing it with the boys' schools.

Anyway, K has gotten involved in Drama and it is the perfect activity for her. I love helping out too. So far just one play but it was fun. It was soooo fun!

This Saturday I am helping to judge a drama competition. I cannot wait! How much fun will that be?!?! Oh I will be tired but it will be a blast.

Worst part of the weekend will be the ex being here. He is coming in for K's drama thing. He said they (being he and his gf) will come down for the day. They just couldn't stay overnight or long because of her dogs. Hmmm, fine, why does she have to come?? Or why can't someone watch the dogs? I mean hello I am always inconvenienced with kid stuff and finding care and I have two cats and a dog now. Yeah it sucks but he never has to be inconvenienced like I do. Of course I am not complaining, I'm just saying.

Anyway, to make it easier and because my common sense was left in California, I said if they needed to bring the dogs, they (the dogs) could stay overnight here to make it easier. I am doing it for my kids, not for him. And I honestly have no problem with his girlfriend, honestly don't. But, sometimes I just get soooo frustrated! Why can't he just be a dad rather than a boyfriend? Ack!

So he and I had a long discussion about custody. Basically it ended up with me just whining, bitching and venting, and him, yet again, not taking my feelings seriously. He just blows it off as me needing to air my feelings. Well yes but it is based on my real feelings.

Well whatever, I am happy with my choices with the kids, with my life. I have no regrets at this point and really, isn't that what matters? I hope he can say the same at the end of all this....

Home sweet home

I am back from my work trip. Did you miss me!??!

It was a successful trip! We had a big recruiting event and it was good. It was great. We had just few hiccups that were super easy to fix. Nothing major and nothing that was in our power. Interviewers and departments wanted to change rooms, interviewers and add interviews. So it was fine. Easy peezy and I was not nearly as tired or drained as I normally am after these. I got to talk with many of the candidates which is both good and bad. I actually get to liking them and then it is a bit heartbreaking (for lack of a better word), when they do not get picked up. We have just a few openings and we had a ton of great, great candidates this time.

Tuesday will suck because of it. Tuesday is our selection meeting. Then I have to send out the decline letters.

But, I did get to see some of our success stories from past events. See this was my first trip to our headquarters and so I haven't gotten to meet many of the people I helped get hired. It was awesome to meet them and they were just like "Wow, you remember me" (meaning their name).

In fact, one candidate had come to a visit that I was able to attend last year in New Orleans. I remembered him but sadly he wasn't selected. When he was on campus in the Fall, the campus team asked me about him because they saw he came to the other event. The concern is "Why wasn't he picked up?" I said that it was just bad timing and he was a great candidate that we would be crazy not to look at him further. He got an offer after that! I was soooo happy for him! I have no idea why. It is like I know him but I just have this sense about some people and I thought he would be good employee for us. Anyway I got to talk to him and he was just so surprised that I remembered him so I was telling them how I see their names over and over, that once they come, I just have to put the name to the face...then I see their names over and over because I am in HR.

Sooooo anyway, good event. I love my job. Can you tell??? I love working with the college kids and I love doing these events. No matter how tired they make me normally.

Then the kids did well. They stayed with my parents. The puppy stayed with them too. My mom just kept saying what a good puppy he is. So smart and obedient. He walks well on a leash, etc. Is it bad that I missed him a teeny, tiny bit more than the kids? Don't get me wrong I missed them like crazy but..... well....

And just for Margaret, I am going to add some video of him soon. Just not ready with it yet. Maybe for Wordless Wednesday.

That's it from here. I had hoped to write while gone but I didn't have a lot of internet time. I do plan to write something almost everyday still. So fingers crossed, I will keep it up now that things are back to normal.

Now off to get caught up on blogs!

A wow night

I just want to remember this night.... it was an amazing night and I just wanted to get the date down.

See I do remember things but I have to leave myself little reminders. One day I will look back at this entry and not remembering exactly why I wrote this and then it will hit me.

Oh yes, it was a great night. a wow night.

Taking a break but....

Not from blogging, just from all the things keeping me from blogging for the last several days.

K has been a part of a play at school. I was really happy that she was part of it.... running crew which if you don't know means that she helped back stage and when there were scene changes, she was part of that.

Last night was the last performance and I helped out back stage too. It was a blast! The kids were fun and it was great to be around the other parents because I almost never get to do stuff like that. I always have the other kids to take care of so if I want to do something for one, I have to have the other two in tow. It makes it near impossible to do anything this way because in this case, it was K who had something going on so it was the boys left out. Well I tried to go help with set building and they were WILD so I had to leave. They were actually jumping off the stage, crawling around in the seats, running all over. They have no will power to stop and punishment does not work.

But, I did get to help a little and that was good for me. I hope that K stays with Drama and next time tries out for a part in the play because she would be sooo good. She had most every one's lines memorizes and had the acting of each down pretty well too.

So I am also getting ready for a big event at work. We travel this week to California for it. I am excited because this will be my first trip to our California office but this is not my first event like this so I am not worried in the least about this event. I am just excited about the trip!

This will be the first time I leave Cowboy. I am sure he will be perfectly fine but I know I will miss him terribly. In a week's time, he will probably grow so much! He is still a great dog. Soooo smart, I am just amazed. Very, very soon he will be going to puppy classes and then we will be on the road to advanced obedience classes. I really want him to do everything and anything. I am just so glad I waited to get a dog and I am really glad that I got him.... I took my time and did research and talked to breeders, rescue groups and others. When all was said and done, I got the best dog for us.

Anywho, I am hoping to blog while on my trip. I am taking both my work laptop and personal one. I just don't' know how busy we will be and if we will have to work late or not.

Sooo anyway that is me for now.... and the kiddos have found me so I have to stop hiding!

I love Site Meter but.....

So I have Site Meter now as I think I mentioned BUT it is starting to make me a bit paranoid. Is my ex reading this? It wouldn't take much for anyone that knows me to actually find my blog! I mean, hello! He and I used almost the same screen name on Plentyoffish.com... that was a weird feeling when we realized that we did that.

But, anyway, so I see tons of different places in Texas as hits. Whole bunch of places.... and a lot near where he lives. Yikes! Thankfully if he is reading, he isn't saying anything and I am glad for that. I hope he will respect this as "my place" and where I can vent and talk things out. In fact, I am sure he would feel that way.

I wish I would have started with Site Meter sooner too. It is soooo interesting! I am surprised by how people are finding me and how many people read my blog! I am surprised because I don't get that many comments.

Anyway, thanks to all that do read me and thanks to those that find me randomly and read. And really thanks to my friends that read and comment.

Privacy, oh how I crave it!

I think I have talked about my house here before but I am not going to go back and look through the 360+ posts to find out.

But it is small! It is just about 1,000 sq ft.... it is a 3 bedroom, 1 bath and no garage house. However, it has the biggest yard! I love that part. You could almost build this same exact house right on the lot.... it is that big.

It is also owned by my parents and I rent it from them. Yes I do pay them.

With that said, we are currently having plans drawn up on a remodel. To most it would like we aren't doing a lot to the house. It is true. We aren't really adding much square feet or more bedrooms or more kitchen space..... all the things I need. But, what we are doing is adding a bathroom.... in fact it is going to be MY OWN BATHROOM!!! A more private master suite is what we are going for.

The current house has a bathroom between two bedrooms. My room has a door to the bathroom and the other door opens to the hallway.

I hate it! I can't really lock my bedroom unless I lock the bathroom door to the hall. This means that if a kid needs the bathroom, they are locked out. I also hate at night when the kids get up and turn the light on in the bathroom. Even with the door stuff from my room to the bathroom, it creeps under the door and wakes me.

The new plan is to close that door with a wall and put the new bathroom and a walk-in closest in my current bedroom and then push the exterior wall out to create my new bedroom. One door into it. A bathroom and closest buffer between the kids and me! My bedroom will be outside of the 'main' house... I get a lot of say in the design but my parents have the final say as it is their money. :)

I am just tried of sharing with little kiddos. In fact just now I went to the bathroom and before I could lock the doors, in walks L.... He is 5 and keeps forgetting the knocking thing. "Hmmm hello." He was like, "I have to go potty." So I left but not before reminding him to knock.

I am ready. I am soooo ready. I just have to wait until the plans are drawn and then find out how much to see if it is doable. I am trying not to be toooo excited yet because there is still a chance it won't happen.... but I am very hopefully! I think if the price is right, it will because my parents are all about making this house/living situation work well for us.

Until then, I will have to continue with the one bathroom and lack of privacy.... It has worked for 3 yrs now but still.

Something for Saturday

I am trying to make an effort to write something everyday. I think so far it is going well. I think I have missed one day this week.... maybe two. But not bad, right?

So my something for today, I am taking the puppy to a park today for Paws in the Park. He is going to love it. I am a little nervous, paranoid, worried because he is still pretty young but he has had most of his vax so far. I think it is just like when you have a newborn baby and that first big outing is a big deal.

Speaking of Cowboy, today it has been one month since I got him!!!!! I can't believe it. On one hand, it seems like he has been here forever and the other, a blink of an eye.

Then I am trying to decide what I think about this.... None of my kids are really thrilled to talk to their dad right now. He called twice yesterday and they wouldn't answer the phone. They looked at the caller ID and said, "Oh it's just dad." Then after the second call, he called my cell phone. We were watching a movie and normally H will snatch the phone and run off to talk to him. He was the first to say "No"..... then he was suppose to call his dad this morning, but I just asked if he talked to him and he said naaayyy with a shrug. The other two are always lukewarm about talking to him, an out of sight type of thing for the little one and well then there is my Drama Queen Teen.

I am staying out of it as far as anything goes. I am just putting out my confusion to the internet. Not really looking for anything from that, just talking it out. Weird.

Last night was my first really bad sleep night in a while. The puppy didn't sleep with me for only the second time since we got him. Is that it?? At any rate, I tossed and turned, and checked the clock about every hour. I did dream though so not sure what that's about. But they were those really weird dreams.

Well that is my something for Saturday. Enjoy.

Technologically Challenged

I need a bumper sticker or a T-shirt or both with this on it. It is a warning to all!

I have worked in the Information Technology department or with these folks in most of the jobs I have had. In fact, my grandparents used to own a TV shop back in the day and my dad always had some new technology around. We had a home computer before all of my friends, yes ALL of them. We had first addition gaming systems. Etc, etc, etc....

Yet I know crap about them. Okay that isn't completely true. I know just enough to be very dangerous.

I actually worked for several years as support in a help desk while in the Navy. I was the one that ordered all the computer equipment: monitors, CPUs, mice, routers, hard drives, etc. While the folks that needed it told me their needs, I still had to know what the hell I was talking about when I talked with vendors because we had to stay right at the edge of ahead in technology. So I had to know what was going on to get what they needed and the best price and not get ripped off!

However, my home computer is crashed. I think I know what to do.... but I'm scared. I guess I can't make it worse but hmmm, yeah now that I think about it, I can. I'm a bit worried that my laptop will crash and then what? I'll be sunk.

And, speaking of my laptop, it isn't quite set up the way I would like. I am getting it there but not quite.

I'm not sure what has happened to me. Did this stuff fall out of my head or I have been so far removed from it that I just haven't bothered to learn?

I don't know.... but I need help or..... something.... I would really like to get that computer back up and running.

Divorced mom or single mom?

What is the difference between a divorced mom and a single mom? (or you can use parent instead of just mom) I'm not sure. I guess it is just a matter how you look at it.

I am a single mom as in I do parent pretty much alone though the dad isn't a deadbeat. He just isn't here for the daily stuff. But, then that makes me think of the difference between being "divorced" and "single"....Read on.... but be warned, I am just opening my mind and what falls out might not all make sense at once.

Some that are divorced have regular custody orders. If you know me and/or have read this blog for a while, you know we don't. He lives 4 - 5 hours away and sees them a few times a year with an extended visit in the summer. Fine.

I make most of the day to day decisions. I get the hugs. I get to discipline them. The school stuff, the extra activities, the missed buses, the sick kiddo needs to be picked up early... etc. I have to do these things on my own. I am also the type that picks my battles and sometimes I just get worn out and can't be firm. Sometimes I do give in and ya know what? Most of the time it works for us. Are they sometimes bratty? Yes. Do they know how to push my buttons? Yes. And I know I give in too much and I know I give them more than they probably deserve and yes some of that is guilt!!!! They know it and they also know when to stop because they have gone too far. Again, it works for us.... most of the time.

So yes, I am a single mom.... errr, divorced mom?

I say that because I feel far from single. So maybe I am a divorced mom?? Since I haven't really thought of myself as single for a very long time now. Goofball and I have been dating a while. Though we haven't gotten super serious, I care about him very much and feel VERY lucky to have him in my life. So as far as single goes.... I don't really feel it.

With that said, I don't expect him to be in a role of "step-dad" or I guess more like "step-boyfriend".... or I don't know, whatever. I just don't expect that though I like that he doesn't mind hanging out with them from time to time. I also don't mind when he gives me his thoughts, advise or opinions on situations with my kids, just so he knows I will do what makes sense for us, be it his idea or mine. I just like having that grown-up to bounce ideas off of and to vent too. But bottom line is he is my hang out guy, my friend, my boyfriend.... not my children's.

And why is this important? I have been trying to define who I am in this whole crazy single, divorced, parenting world. I know that I am far from alone but at the same time, each situation is different. I think a lot of single parents struggle with defining who they are and what they want.

And that was the main reason for this blog.

Blog, blog, blog

I have been thinking about my blog a lot lately. I have now added Site Meter to it so all your lurkers, I see you!

Basically I want to start getting more traffic here. I want to let it evolve it more, especially my writing. I think I do okay but I am not quite as witty as some but I think I am better than others. Ya know, some where in the middle. I also think I kinda blend in a bit like I do in real life but when I have something to say, I make sure I am heard.

I know if I could make the rounds a lot more (meaning hitting tons of blogs and commenting), I would get more traffic. If I would except some of the invites I get to join this community or that blogroll, I could get more traffic. But, I am picky and somethings just don't seem like my style or someone is trying to get their own site going and need some folks to help get it going.

So I guess I know things I should be doing but how to do it when I have so much else going on in my life? I just don't know yet. Why do some people make it look so easy to "have it all?" I have never been super put together in that sense.

Oh well.... Gotta figure this out. But for now, I am just going to try and write something everyday. At least...... something....

Happy Easter and....

I am feeling a bit better than last night. Last night was crazy. I don't know what happened. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Sad. Sleepy from the meds..... etc, etc, etc.....

Today, at this moment, I do feel better. I hope that as the day wears on me, I just roll with it, which is more my style than the other but sometimes a girl has got to cry. It is almost like girl law or something.

Soooooo today is about purging my house which symbolises purging myself.

The kids are doing well. They are just enjoying being home with me. Even H saw some things this time that have him a bit upset and thinking that his dad is inappropriate and that he puts his relationship first before their feelings. Asshole!!! He is soooo going to alienate those kids and I hate it for them all. Even him because he may not realize it now but some day he might. I can only hope that it isn't too late.

So we are enjoying the outside right now and playing with our puppy..... and wishing you all a HAPPY EASTER or if you don't celebrate it, just another great Sunday!

Crying.... okay not really but almost!

I don't actually cry often. I really don't. I joke about it but I don't actually cry often.

Right now I am right on the edge of tears. I can't help it. It is just how I feel tonight.

I should be happy. I should be thrilled. I'm not so much.

I'm a bit sad. A bit disappointed. A bit.... ready to cry.

I will be okay. I will and I will probably not actually cry..... but damn I feel like it!

UPDATE: Okay so I did. Damn it!!!! and I am still on edge to do it again. Crap! I hate this feeling!

It is SATURDAY!!!!

Do you know what that means?

My kids come home today!!!! Whoooohooooo.

I am very excited that they will be here in just a few hours at most. But the one really nice thing about this time is I had the girlfriend to give me a report! I didn't ask for it, mind you. She just did it. I was sooooo excited to see that email because it gave me a different view on the situation up there. So if K comes back saying she didn't get a lot of time with her dad, I know that she probably got a lot but maybe it just wasn't enough for my poor daddy deprived child.

We'll see.

ALSO, today we are having our family March bday celebration. That includes me being that my bday was March 2. I love this day because I share the month with two very special people to me. My grandmother (mom's mom) and my cousin. I do also share it with one other person, she really isn't bad but I can only take her in small doses. But I do like her.

My Army brother is in town too!!!! with his new girlfriend who I can't wait to meet. They just arrived at my folks' house so I need to get a few chores done and then head over there before the crowd gets there.

HAPPY EASTER (weekend) to all!!!!!!

Stuff, stuff and more stuff

Not sure what to lead off with here.... I miss the kids, I know at least one is missing home a lot! She text messages or calls me DAILY!!!!! Last night was "Help me, I can't take this. I want to come home." It is like a cry for help that I can't answer. On one hand I don't feel bad at all!!!! But the other.... well damn my baby is sad and I want to fix it. Truth be told I want to fix everyone.

Also, I'm on a new med to help me sleep and BOY does it make me sleep..... well actually not so much sleep as it makes me SLEEPY!!! ALL DAY!!! and dizzy too. Ack! So now I am on two meds and still not feeling "fixed".... My electric shock therapy is my next step. Okay maybe not.....

The puppy is doing GREAT! Okay so he is a baby and is a spoiled, rotten brat!!!! But he is smart. Knows most of the basic commands, except the one about not biting me! Overall a good boy and so much fun.

Good stuff at work. I love my job though this week I have been off because of the meds. But, I just had my yearly review and it was GREAT! I got a nice little raise. Got my contractor service bridged for my benefits. It doesn't change my service date but just for how much vacation I get, sick leave and gets me a year closer to retirement! I guess that's about it from me......

There is probably more but my brain has stopped working. I guess the two meds have met and it is time for sleeping. :)


Because Margaret asked!!!! Here are some puppy pics.

Wordless (sort of) Wednesday